Discardia_ More Life, Less Stuff - Dinah Sanders [12]
Tupperware party. Put into a bag every plastic container you can’t remember using in the last six months as well as any unmatched tops and bottoms. Charity!
Open the stasis chamber. Find a closet shelf, cupboard, or drawer that has remained largely unchanged for the last year. Fill a bag with some of that untouched stuff you don’t need. Boxes that moved in with you years ago, but which you’ve never opened, are ideal targets for this activity. Bonus round: Use that newly cleared space as a new and better home for something that matters more to you.
One grocery bag isn’t all that hard to fill, even in a tidy home, but it’s actually a significant amount of space. Playing a quick round of One Bag at a Time is a great way to demonstrate to yourself that you have accomplished something good and you’re making your world better.
Symptom #4: Oh, No! I’m Not Perfect
Solution #4: The Success of a Balanced Approach
Work only starts when the fear of doing nothing finally exceeds the fear of doing something badly.
—Alain de Botton, writer and entrepreneur
Habits, projects, and dreams or desires aren’t the same thing
When deciding how to invest your time and energy at work or at home, it is important to distinguish between building a habit, doing a project, and having a dream or desire. These three kinds of activities have different rules. Understand the differences and set expectations of yourself appropriately.
Building a habit is a gradual process to which you commit effort and measure progress. It does not have a deadline or an end point. Making that effort and improving over time defines success.
Doing a project is taking a set of steps to achieve a result. It does not necessarily have a deadline. Being currently successful with a project depends upon whether it is active or inactive. In either case, identifying the end conditions that you seek and the first action that you need to take are keys to succeeding with the project. Further, if it’s an active project to which you have a current commitment, reaching those end conditions completes the definition of success.
Having a dream or desire is envisioning the way your world could be. It does not necessarily have any associated projects or habits that might make it more likely to exist. It definitely does not have a deadline or a specific end point. Knowing whether you still want this dream or desire defines success.
Here are some examples:
Habit: Putting in solid writing time every day
The only way to fail at “putting in solid writing time every day” is not to put in any solid writing time or continually put in less.
Project: Writing a book
The only way to fail at “writing a book” is if it’s a currently active project, not to do the next step in the project, or, if it’s an inactive project, not to define it enough to know what succeeding at it would look like or what the first action for it would be.
Dream: Being a writer
The only way to fail at having the dream of “being a writer” is to take action toward that dream when it’s no longer what you want.
All three activities should change over time to reflect new insights, conditions, or priorities. Doing a project expects completion; building a habit demands action. Far too often, we unfairly treat ourselves as if every activity we undertake should lead to perfect and immediate results.
Here are some other examples:
Habit: When I realize I no longer like or need something, immediately putting it in the charity box
Project: Deciding the fate of the front hall stuff (then, “evaluating shoes in rack by front door” might be the next action)
Dream: Having plenty of closet space
Four real choices
Deciding that you no longer want to build a particular habit, do a particular project, or have a particular dream or desire is not the same as failing. You can’t do it all, so you’re always making choices about where to put your energy, and that is fine.
Psychotherapist Robert L. Goulding, M.D., taught the principle that there are four choices in any decision:
1. Do it and enjoy.