Distant Shores - Marco Palmieri [113]
Chief Engineer Torres informs me that our multispatial probe will require modifications to scan the simultaneous subspace domains indicated by our Voth friend. I’ve made the assignment top priority for our engineering and science staffs. Several of our new crew members-Crewmen Gilmore and Morrow and Lieutenant Marika-have volunteered to assist with the project, in order to prove their worth to the ship. Torres informs me that Marika’s experience with subspace engineering should be helpful. The lieutenant seems determined to make good use of what little time she has among us, and I’m pleased to accept her assistance.
“I’m still not convinced that Voth of Chakotay’s was on the level,” B’Elanna Torres grumbled as she and Harry stood over the multispatial probe, performing surgery on its innards. “Scanning on all these different domains at once, mixing three-and four-dimensional modes-the interference patterns should reduce it all to so much noise!”
“I think the interference is actually constructive in five dimensions,” Harry said. “If I’m following this right, it’ll be like adding a new sensor band on top of the others. It’ll give us a whole new level of analysis!”
Marika came up beside Harry, chuckling. “You’re having fun with this, aren’t you?” she asked, clasping his shoulder.
“At least one of us is,” B’Elanna grumbled before wandering off to another part of the engineering deck.
Harry almost cried out for her to stay, but realized he had no excuse. He cleared his throat and tried to step away nonchalantly. “It’s why we’re out here, right? To learn new things.”
“That Starfleet sense of wonder,” Marika sighed. “I had that once, before one of those new things grabbed me and… well. That’s the past now. Maybe you can help me find it again.”
He moved to the other side of the probe to tune one of the collector vanes. “You don’t need me for that. Just being out here, you’re bound to see wonders. Umm, have you got those brane resonance figures yet?”
“Here.” She handed him a padd, and he tried to bury himself in its data. But Marika came around to stand by him. “So what’s an Ops officer doing on this project? Seems like more of a science officer’s gig.”
“We’ve never really had a science officer as such. With all the crew losses, most of us have had to double up, adapt to new duties.”
“Well, you fill the science officer’s shoes very well. Hell, you fill the whole uniform pretty damn well,” she added with a leer.
Harry cleared his throat. “Lieutenant- “
“Karah.”
“This really isn’t the time.”
“I have to take what time I have.”
He winced. “Look-I understand that. But- “
“Do you? Can you? Can any of you?” She shook her head. “I look around at this ship, this crew, and do you know what I see? Missed opportunities. You’ve been together five years, and nobody’s gotten married; nobody’s started a family, except one ensign who was already pregnant when you left; nobody’s even left the ship to settle down somewhere. You’re all living your lives on hold, maintaining a cozy status quo. You’re so fixated on this remote future, this dream of getting home, that you’re not living in the present! You’re not letting yourselves commit to anything, take any chances on anything other than getting closer to the Alpha Quadrant. You’re treating life as a goal instead of a journey!”
She gathered herself. “All my life, Harry, I’ve had so few opportunities for happiness, for success, for anything. I grew up starving and miserable in the refugee camps. In the Academy I was shy and lonely, afraid to trust anyone, to reach out and make friends. Afraid to trust myself enough to do really well, to earn any honors. Then finally on the Excalibur I met a man who loved me, who gave me happiness and confidence, and for the first time in my life I was flourishing, discovering