Distant Shores - Marco Palmieri [99]
“Slow,” Chakotay huffed. “Have you ever actually read this book, or were you just having a little fun at my expense?”
“I played the entire holonovel, Chakotay. It was excellent,” Tom replied.
When Chakotay didn’t answer, Tom seemed to take this less than subtle hint and started for the door, but apparently decided to give it one more try. Turning back, he asked simply, “Who is she?”
Chakotay’s head snapped abruptly up from the padd he’d been pretending to read, revealing the full measure of alarm in his eyes.
“I beg your pardon?” Chakotay said, trying to keep his voice even.
“I’ve known you a long time, Chakotay. And I’ve never seen you like this. There’s only one person who can make me as testy as you’ve been the last few days, and that’s B’Elanna. So I’m asking again, who is she?”
Chakotay considered carefully before replying. Obviously he had no intention of getting specific, but Tom was the only other male senior officer currently involved in an intimate relationship with a fellow officer. Finally, he decided he needed to talk about this, and though Tom might not have been his first choice, he knew he could count on his understanding and discretion.
“If it’s all right, I’d rather not say,” he began.
“No problem,” Tom answered, taking a seat across from Chakotay and settling in. “No names.”
“And our conversation doesn’t leave this room,” Chakotay continued. “That’s an order.”
“Understood,” Tom said. “I’ve already been demoted once this year. I’m not looking to make crewman before we get home.”
Chakotay smiled.
“It’s complicated,” he finally said.
“When isn’t it?” Tom asked. “I mean we are talking about a woman, right? You’re not considering dating that far outside your species?”
“Very funny.”
“So what’s the problem?”
Chakotay rose and crossed to the windows where the sight of the stars Voyager was passing at warp speed calmed his frayed nerves a bit.
“I think I know how she feels. She’s all but… come right out and said it. And I know how I feel,” he said, finally turning to face Tom, grateful for the patience he saw on his face. “But I honestly don’t know if this can work. I don’t know if we can function in our respective capacities and still… have the relationship we want. And at the moment, I’m really not sure which one is more important to me.”
“I see,” Tom said.
“So how do you and B’Elanna do it?” Chakotay finally asked.
“We’re both too stubborn to quit, and too selfish to care much what other people think,” Tom replied. Rising to stand face-to-face with Chakotay, Tom paused then went on. “It’s not easy. We can’t just get away when we’re on each other’s nerves. The ship’s too small for that. And, yes, people talk for a while, but eventually they move on to more interesting topics. The thing is, we only live once. I knew I was crazy about B’Elanna for the better part of a year before I got up enough guts to approach her. And we might still be dancing around the inevitable if we both hadn’t almost died on that mission to recover the warp core. That’s what it took to knock some sense into us. It’s not the opportunities we take in life that we usually regret. It’s the ones we walk away from. If you want this woman, and she feels the same, you’d be insane not to at least try and make it work. And you may as well do it today, because tomorrow is promised to no one.”
Chakotay took a moment to enjoy how the troubled young man who had joined his crew six years earlier, intent on putting as much distance between himself and life as possible, had grown into the confident officer who now stood before him. “When did you get so wise?” he asked honestly.
“I fell in love with the smartest woman I’ve ever met,” he said. “And I make it a point to listen.”
“Today, huh?” Chakotay mused.
“Why not?” Tom asked.
“She’s otherwise occupied for the rest of the evening.”
Tom looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, “Then you’re in luck. I’ve got four hours reserved on the holodeck tomorrow night. B’Elanna and I were planning an evening in Venice. It’s yours if you want it.”