Distraction - Bruce Sterling [107]
“Well, she was giving one heck of a speech,” Norman said. “I mean, you could barely hear her at first, she was so nervous, but once the crowd started yelling, she really got pretty worked up. Everybody got really excited.… Look, Oscar, when the cops arrested me, I lost my head. I told them a lot. Pretty much everything. I’m sorry.”
“Really,” Oscar said.
“Yeah, like, I told them why you sent me there. Because we knew from the profiles who was likely to make trouble, and that it would probably be this guy Skopelitis. So that’s who I was casing. I was sitting right behind him in the fifth row.… So every time he got all ready to stand up and really give it to her, I ran a preemption. I asked him to explain a term for me, I got him to take off his hat, I asked him where the rest room was.…”
“All perfectly legal behavior,” Oscar said.
“Finally he screamed at me to shut up.”
“Did you stop conversing with Dr. Skopelitis when you were asked to stop?”
“Well, I started eating my bag of potato chips. Nice and crunchy.” Norman smiled wanly. “He sort of lost his head then, he was trying to find cues in his laptop. And I was shoulder-surfing him, and you know, he had a whole list of prepared statements there. He went in there loaded. But she was really tearing through her material by then, and they were applauding, and cheering, even … lots of major laugh lines. They couldn’t believe how funny she was. He finally jumped up and yelled something totally stupid about how dare she this, and how dare she that, and the place just went ape. They just shouted him down. So he walked out of the meeting in a major huff. And I followed him.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Mostly just to distract him some more. I was really enjoying myself.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I’m a college student, and he’s just like this professor I had once, a guy I really couldn’t stand. I just wanted him to know that I had his number. But once he was outside the briefing room, he took off running. So then I knew he was up to something bad. So I followed him, and I saw him trip a fire alarm.”
Oscar removed his hat and set it on the table. “You say you actually witnessed this?”
“Heck yeah! So I had it out with him. I ran up to him and I said, ‘Look, Skopelitis, you can’t pull a dirty stunt like that! It’s not professional.’ ”
“And?”
“And he denied it to my face. I said, ‘Look, I saw you do it.’ He panics and takes off. I run after him. People are pouring into the halls because of the fire alarm. It gets really exciting. I’m trying to apprehend him. We get into a fight. I’m a lot stronger than him, so I punch his lights out. I’m running down the hall after him, jumping down the steps, he’s got a bloody nose, people are yelling at us to stop. I pretty much lost my temper.”
Oscar sighed. “Norman, you’re fired.”
Norman nodded sadly. “I am?”
“That’s not acceptable behavior, Norman. The people in my krewe are political operatives. You’re not a vigilante. You can’t beat people up.”
“What was I supposed to do, then?”
“You should have informed the police that you saw Dr. Skopelitis committing a crime.” HE’S FINISHED! GOOD WORK! TOO BAD I HAVE TO FIRE YOU NOW.
“You’re really going to fire me, Oscar?”
“Yes, Norman, you are fired. I’ll go to the clinic, I’ll apologize to Dr. Skopelitis personally. I hope I can persuade him to dismiss the charges against you. Then I’m sending you home to Cambridge.”
Oscar went to visit Skopelitis in the Collaboratory clinic. He brought flowers: a lushly symbolic bouquet of yellow carnations and lettuce. Skopelitis had a private room, and with Oscar’s sudden arrival, he had hastily returned to his bed. He had a black eye and his nose was heavily bandaged.
“I hope you’re not taking this too badly, Dr. Skopelitis. Let me ring the nurse for a vase.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Skopelitis said nasally.
“Oh, but I insist,” Oscar said. He went through the agonizing ritual, shuttling the nurse in, accepting her compliments on the flowers, small-talking about water and sunshine, carefully