Distraction - Bruce Sterling [121]
Pelicanos narrowed his eyes. “Kevin, who’s the heaviest prole mob you know?”
“Well, the Regulators are the heaviest. They have state support from Huey, and they just smashed a federal air base. So they’ve got to be the strongest mob around—everybody knows that by now. But, well, there’s the Moderators. The Moderators are big. Plus, they hate the Regulators’ guts.”
“Why is that?” Oscar said, leaning forward with galvanized interest.
Kevin shrugged. “Why do mobs always hate other mobs? Somebody stole somebody’s girlfriend, somebody hacked somebody’s phones. They’re mobs. So they have no laws. So they have to feud with each other. It’s tribal. Tribes always act like that.”
Pelicanos scratched his jaw. “You know, Oscar, there’s no question that the Collaboratory is a much more attractive facility than some run-down federal air base.”
“You’re absolutely right, Yosh. That dome has real charisma. There’s a definite demand-pull there.”
There was a long, thoughtful silence.
“Time for a coffee,” Oscar announced, rising and fetching some. “Let’s run a reality check, guys. Forget all this blue-sky stuff—what’s the agenda? Our agenda here is to gently embarrass the powers that be, and get them to cut some operational slack for federal researchers. At the end of the day, Congress will fund this place at about half last year’s fiscal levels. But in return, we’ll get more direct power into the hands of the lab people. So we’ll create a workable deal. We’ll keep the lab in business, but without all the pork and the graft. That’s a perfectly decent accomplishment. It’s something we could all be very proud of.”
He sipped his coffee. “But if we let this situation spin out of control like Kevin is suggesting … Well, I actually suspect that it’s possible. What Huey did to the Air Force, that proves that it’s possible. But it’s not doable, because there’s no brakes. There are no brakes, because I can’t control the course of events. I don’t have the authority. I’m just a Senate staffer!”
“That’s never stopped you so far,” Kevin pointed out.
“Well, I admit that, Kevin, but … Well, I don’t like your idea because it’s bad ideology. I’m a Federal Democrat. We’re a serious-minded Reform party. We’re not a revolutionary vanguard, we can leave all that to self-marginalizing, violent morons. I’m operating under a lot of legal and ethical constraints here. I can’t have huge mobs commandeering federal facilities.”
Kevin sniffed. “Well, Huey did it.”
“Huey’s a Governor! Huey has a legislative branch and a judiciary. Huey was elected by the people, he won his last race with seventy-two percent of a ninety-percent voter turnout! I can’t paralyze the country with insane stunts like that, I just don’t have the power! I’m not a magician! I’m just a freshman Senate staffer. I don’t get my own way just because things are theoretically possible. Hell, I can’t even sleep with my own girlfriend.”
Kevin looked at Pelicanos. “Yosh, can’t you arrange it so this poor bastard can sleep with his girlfriend? She’d understand this situation. He’s getting all mentally cramped now. He’s losing his edge.”
“Well, that’s doable,” Pelicanos said. “You could resign from the Senate Science Committee, and take over here as Greta’s official chief of staff. I don’t think anyone would mind Greta sleeping with one of her staffers. I mean, technically it’s workplace sex harassment, but gee whiz.”
Oscar frowned darkly. “I am not leaving the Senate Science Committee! You people have no understanding of what I have been through all this time, massaging those creeps backstage in Washington. It is incredibly hard doing that over a network; if you’re not in the office doing face-time with the Hill rats, they always write you off and screw you. I’ve been wiring flowers to their goddamn sysadmin for three weeks. When I get back to Washington, I’ll probably have to date her.”
“Okay, then we’re back to square one,” Pelicanos said gloomily. “We still don’t know what we’re doing, and we still don’t have any money.”
Oscar was up at three in the morning, examining