Distraction - Bruce Sterling [213]
She blinked. “I don’t think I ever even thought like this before.”
“What you’re saying is completely true. It’s the hard cold truth, and it’s bad, it’s impossibly bad, it’s worse than I ever imagined, but you know, I’m glad that I know it now. I always like to know what I’m facing. I refuse to admit defeat here. I refuse to pack up my tent. I don’t want to leave you, I can’t bear it. You’re the only woman who ever really understood me.”
“I’m sorry that I understand you well enough to tell you what you just can’t do.”
“Greta, don’t give up on me. Don’t dump me. I’m having a genuine breakthrough here, I’m on the edge of something really huge. You’re right about the dictatorship problem, it’s a dirt-real, basic, political challenge. We’ve worked ourselves to the bone now, we’re all burned out, we’re all bogged down in the little things. Daily tactics won’t do it for us anymore, but abandoning it to its own devices is a cop-out. We need to create something that is huge and permanent, we need a higher truth. No, not higher, deeper, we need a floor of granite. No more sand castles, no more improvising. We need genius. And you’re a genius.”
“Yes, but not that kind.”
“But you and I, we could do it together! If we only had some time to really concentrate, if we could just talk together like this. Listen. You have totally convinced me: you’re wiser than I am, you’re more realistic, I’m with you all the way. We’ll leave this place. We’ll run off together. Forget the big state marriage and the rings and the rice. We’ll go to … well, not some island, they’re all drowning now.… We’ll go to Maine. We’ll stay there a month, two months, we’ll stay a year. We’ll drop off the net, we’ll use pens and candlelight. We’ll really, seriously concentrate, without any distractions at all. We’ll write a Constitution.”
“What? Let the President do that.”
“That guy? He’s just more of the same! He’s a socialist, he’s gonna make us sane and practical, just like Europe. This place isn’t Europe! America is what people created when they were sick to death of Europe! Normalcy for America—it isn’t keeping your nose clean and counting your carbon dioxide. Normalcy for America is technological change. Sure, the process ran away with us for a little while, the rest of the world pulled a fast one on us, they cheated us, they want the world to be Rembrandt canvases and rice paddies until the last trump of doom, but we’re off our sickbed now. A massive rate of change is normalcy for America. What we need is planned change—Progress. We need Progress!”
“Oscar, your face is getting really red.” She reached out.
He jerked his wrist back. “Stop trying to feel my pulse. You know I hate it when you do that. Listen to me carefully, I’m making perfect specimen sense lab-table really love me. I’m doing this all for you, Greta. I’m totally serious, we can do it tomorrow morning. A long sabbatical together in Maine, at some lovely romantic cabin. I’ll have Lana rent us one, she knows all about it.”
Her eyes widened. “What? Tomorrow? Lana? Wilderness? We can’t just abandon romantic Clare Lana Ramachandran little Kama Sutra girl.”
Oscar stared. “What did you say?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that about Lana. Lana can’t help how she feels about you. But I’m not sorry I said it about Clare. You were having drinks with her! Kevin told me.”
Oscar was stunned. “How did we get onto this subject?”
An angry flush rose up Greta’s neck. “I always think about it—I just never say it out loud! Clare, and Lana, and the Senator’s wife, and Moira, all these painted pointed glamour women with their claws …”
“Greta, stop that. Trust me! I’m asking you to marry me. Moira! Get it through your head. This is for real, this is permanent and solid. Tell me once and for all, will you marry Moira?”
“What? Moira’s one of your krewewomen, isn’t she? She came over to make amends.”
“But Moira works for Huey! When did you see Moira?”
“Moira came to my office. She brought me a brand-new air filter. She was very nice.”
Oscar stared