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By Root 358 0

Earth was a low-interest world, according to the techno-pundits, but it had a kind of political value. The place was a nexus world, just like Dronid, or Solos, or Tyler’s Folly; insignificant on first sight, but when you looked at the bigger picture, you realised it was linked to the destinies of a whole host of intergalactic powers. If he could build a powerbase on Earth in this time zone, Qixotl knew a good half-dozen species who’d pay him to let them use the planet’s facilities. Normally, the best way of gaining power on a planet was by squeezing yourself into its history – inventing the wheel for the locals, setting yourself up as a god, the usual spiel – but Earth’s history was so full of alien interference, Qixotl didn’t think he could mess about with its timestream much without causing a full-scale temporal embolism.

No, if he wanted power on Earth, he’d have to get it by dealing with the locals on a strictly one-to-one basis. UNISYC was a pretty good place to start. A low-power organisation now, yeah, but with enough little secrets to turn itself into a major political force, if you gave it the right kind of assistance.

Slowly, Kortez stood. The Colonel’s eyes swept across the hall, apparently judging each of the other representatives in turn.

‘I have something of great value to offer,’ he announced.

Qixotl nodded encouragingly. ‘Go on.’

‘You’re familiar with the principles of universal karmic consciousness?’ Kortez asked.

Qixotl glanced at the bidders around him. None of them looked like they had any idea what Kortez was talking about. ‘Erm, kind of.’

‘I have, for some time, been exploring the mysteries of the inner self. And I’ve reached some startling conclusions, Mr Qixotl.’ The Colonel was doing that irritating nodding thing again, Qixotl noticed. ‘I’ve discovered the ultimate prize. The holy grail of all intelligent life in this universe.’

Qixotl cleared his throat. ‘Is this, y’know, going to be something like the Faction’s bid? Spiritual weaponry, that kind of thing?’

‘Not weaponry. Something else. Something better.’ Kortez looked around the hall again. Then he leaned forward, almost conspiratorially, his hands resting on the table.

‘The secret of inner harmony,’ he declared.

There was a long silence.

‘Oh,’ said Qixotl.

‘Would you like a demonstration?’ Kortez asked.

‘Well, yeah, maybe...’

The Colonel collapsed back into his seat, but kept his palms on the table. He closed his eyes, and started going auuuuuuuummmmmmmmmm.

The other representatives watched him for a good minute and a half, but nothing else happened. The Colonel sat there aummming, taking a new breath every twenty seconds or so, never opening his eyes. One by one, the bidders turned to Qixotl.

‘Is that it?’ scoffed Homunculette.

Mr Qixotl didn’t know where to look. ‘Humans can be, er, a little on the eccentric side,’ he explained.

‘Eccentric? The man’s a lunatic.’

Qixotl chewed his lip. Displacer Syndrome, the humans called it. He’d known Kortez was half-crazy as soon as he’d seen the Colonel’s biodata sample, but he’d assumed that being half-crazy would be an advantage, for a human being in this kind of environment. ‘Yeah, well, anyway,’ Qixotl mumbled. ‘Maybe we’d better let the Colonel sort himself out for a bit. In the meantime, who’s going to make the next offer?’

Once they’d managed to get Kathleen to the top of the stairs, the going got easier. Sam supported the Lieutenant’s left side, the Doctor taking the right. Between them, they dragged her along the central corridor, towards the heart of the ziggurat.

‘So you’re telepathic now?’ Sam puffed. ‘I mean, really telepathic?’

‘Well, my abilities have never been very well developed. Susan was always the psychic one in the family. But it wasn’t just me working on the Little Brother. The body in the box wanted Kathleen back in control of herself, as well. It’s been using her as its agent here in the City.’

‘Wait, wait.’ Sam stopped, forcing the Doctor to stop, too. ‘There’s a body in that box?’

The Doctor looked as though he didn’t want to talk about it, at least