Doctor Who_ Alien Bodies - Lawrence Miles [104]
‘I hope I haven’t missed anything,’ he said.
Qixotl coughed. ‘Nothing’s been settled yet, if that’s what you mean. Er... the humans. Are they...?’
‘Quite well, thank you.’
The other representatives exchanged suspicious glances. ‘The security systems?’ enquired Cousin Justine.
‘Not all they’re cracked up to be,’ the Doctor informed her, with a disdainful glance in Qixotl’s direction.
‘Well, good,’ Qixotl blustered. ‘Glad everything’s settled. OK, if you’d like to take your seat...?’
The Doctor moved towards the table. Before he could reach his seat – marked with a piece of folded cardboard, onto which Qixotl had scrawled “MYSTERY GUEST” in ballpoint pen – Little Brother Manjuele appeared in the doorway.
‘It’s him,’ Manjuele shouted. He was screeching hysterically, his arm waving in the Doctor’s direction.
‘Little Brother –’ Justine began, but Manjuele ignored her.
‘It’s him,’ he repeated. ‘Ask him. Ask him who he is.’
The representatives looked at each other. Then they looked at the Doctor. The Doctor saw a look of pure gut-twisting horror cross Qixotl’s face.
‘Oh dear,’ said the Doctor.
‘You never gave us your name,’ Homunculette growled. ‘That’s a good point.’
‘Erm...’ said Qixotl, but he seemed unable to add anything to that.
‘This-un-it’s-i-den-ti-ty-is-of-no-int-er-est,’ E-Kobalt said. ‘We-will-proceed.’
‘Ask him!’ Manjuele screamed. He looked a mess, the Doctor noted. His clothes were covered in patches of red-brown slime, and there were deep gashes across his face, apparently self-inflicted. Still, at least he was wearing his own body.
‘Would you believe me if I told you my name’s Smith?’ the Doctor tried.
‘It’s him!’ said Manjuele. ‘It’s the Doctor!’
There was the kind of silence that can swallow worlds.
Then everyone started talking at once.
All the representatives who had feet got to them. On its noticeboard, the Shift made several uncomfortable anagrams of itself. Qixotl raised his hands. ‘Hey, look. Everybody? Hello? Let’s try and sort this out rationally –’
‘Shut up,’ snarled Homunculette.
‘Ladies, gentlemen, life-forms, please!’ The Doctor loaded his voice with all the authority he felt he could muster, and finally succeeded in quietening everyone down. ‘I’m sorry, I seem to have startled you all a little. I’d like to assure you, I mean none of you any harm.’
‘You’re really him?’ asked Cousin Justine. She sounded impressed, more than anything else.
‘Which regeneration?’ Homunculette snapped.
The Doctor felt the question worthy of an answer. ‘Seventh.’
Homunculette turned to Qixotl. ‘Get him out of here. It’s too early for him to know what’s going on.’
‘A bit late now,’ muttered the Doctor.
‘You-must-be-de-stroyed,’ said E-Kobalt.
The Doctor turned to face the Kroton. ‘Oh, must I?’
‘You-are-a-known-en-em-y-of-the-Kro-ton-Ab-so-lute.’ It turned its gun-arm on him. ‘You-must-be-el-im-in-at-ed-at-once.’
‘Don’t make it any worse,’ Homunculette told the creature. ‘Causality’s taken enough of a battering already.’
Cousin Justine cleared her throat. ‘Our situation requires careful thought. Clearly, we have to approach this problem with some degree of tact and subtlety.’
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Really? You’ve changed your tune.’
Cousin Justine looked uneasy. ‘Meaning?’
‘A moment ago, your little Brother over there was trying to steal the Relic from the vault. Using the Lieutenant as a puppet.’ The Doctor faced the Colonel, who stood on the far side of the table, making aummm noises in spite of the crisis. ‘Hardly tactful or subtle.’
A grimace crossed Qixotl’s face. The Doctor could hear Homunculette hyperventilating even from this distance. Justine shot a glance at Manjuele. ‘Surely, some misunderstanding...’
‘I told you,’ Homunculette snarled. ‘I told you not to trust them.’
The Doctor suddenly saw the way the Time Lord was standing. His muscles were tensed. His eyes were fixed on Justine.
‘Homunculette, you promised –’ the Doctor