Doctor Who_ Alien Bodies - Lawrence Miles [79]
That sounded like a threat to the Doctor. Qixotl certainly looked a little taken aback. ‘That is, y’know, if you make the highest bid,’ the man pointed out.
‘Yes,’ bubbled E-Kobalt-Prime.
‘Can I ask a question?’ said the Doctor. ‘Where’s your dynatrope? I know your people never leave home without one.’
E-Kobalt paused before answering. ‘I-will-not-re-quire-my-own-vess-el-to-complete-this-miss-ion.’
‘Really? How’s your power supply?’
‘The-Rel-ic-will-be-sec-ured-be-fore-re-en-er-gi-sa-tion-be-comes-ne-cess-ar-y.’ There was a bit more head-spinning. The Kroton’s legs quivered underneath its torso. ‘The-grav-it-y-on-this-plan-et-is-un-suit-a-ble-for-this-bo-dy. I-will-need-to-re-con-struct-my-ex-ter-i-or-form-im-me-di-ate-ly.’
Qixotl cleared his throat. ‘Well, yeah, it’s like I said. If you want me to show you to your quarters...’
Before he could finish the sentence, the Kroton shattered. Literally, shattered. The legs disintegrated, allowing the torso to drop to the ground. The body exploded into several thousand shards of translucent crystal on impact, and squashed a few more of the floating plants in the process. There was an almighty cracking sound. Qixotl actually shrieked, but the Doctor merely winced.
All that was left of E-Kobalt was his head (its head, the Doctor corrected himself; Krotons were strictly speaking asexual, although they acted in such a loutish fashion it was hard to think of them as anything but male), plus a shapeless lump of white crystal that had once formed the inner core of the torso. It reminded the Doctor of raw clay in a sculptor’s studio, ready to be moulded into something more artistic.
‘Oh no,’ squealed Qixotl. ‘Don’t tell me I’ve lost another one.’
The Doctor peered at the crystal. ‘Don’t worry. It’s just growing itself a new body. Look.’ Even as he spoke, delicate cracks were appearing across the surface of the substance. New limbs were forming under the skin, squirming impatiently as they grew. ‘Fascinating. I’ve never seen this process before. I always assumed it’d be a private moment for them.’
‘Can it hear us?’
‘Oh, I shouldn’t think so. See, the feelers have dropped off. It hasn’t developed new sensory systems yet.’
Qixotl looked distinctly uncomfortable all the same. ‘OK, Doctor, let’s get serious here. You heard what the life-form said. There’s a whole Warspear full of these things coming. Whatever a Warspear is.’
‘Yes. And they’re not going to be too happy if E-Kobalt doesn’t get what he wants at the auction.’ The Doctor said it in his best I-told-you-so voice, but Qixotl just shrugged.
‘Can’t say it bothers me much. Once the property’s sold, I’m gone. The Krotons can blow up the whole sodding planet if they feel like it. What I’m saying is, things are hotting up around here. You can’t hang about any longer. I mean, what happens if the bidders figure out who you are? We’re going to have a riot on our hands, y’know?’
‘You should have thought of that before!’
‘I was kind of expecting you to stay dead,’ Qixotl protested. ‘OK, OK. Here’s the deal. You go away now, and don’t get in the way of the auction, yeah? In return, I’ll let you have 40 per cent. Can’t say fairer than that, right?’
The Doctor was puzzled. ‘40 per cent of what?’
‘The proceeds. 40 per cent of whatever I get for the stiff.’
The Doctor felt his jaw drop. That hadn’t happened in centuries.
‘I’ll give you your cut the next time I see you around,’ Qixotl told him. ‘Really. Cross my heart. Universe this small, we’ve got to bump into each other sooner or later.’
‘You’re offering me 40 per cent of my own body?’ boggled the Doctor.
‘Uh-huh. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’d give you 50 per cent, but I’ve got expenses to cover here.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’
Qixotl sighed extravagantly. ‘If you want to play