Doctor Who_ Alien Bodies - Lawrence Miles [88]
‘Pot-en-tial-agg-ressive-de-vi-ces!’ growled E-Kobalt. The Kroton waddled up to the nearest of the dancers, and engaged it in close combat, battering the robot until its head came clean off.
‘Well, whatever makes you happy,’ mumbled Qixotl. He turned to face the table. Kortez had already found his seat, but Homunculette and the Paradox people were standing glaring at each other, neither wanting to make the first move. Finally, Manjuele pointed an accusing finger at the Time Lord.
‘No way,’ he said. ‘No way we gonna sit down with this son-of-a-bitch.’
Qixotl quickly put himself between the two parties, in a desperate attempt to stop them hitting each other. ‘Look, I’m sure we’ve got another one of those teeny misunderstandings here, yeah? Y’know, let’s not waste time splitting hairs.’
‘Mr Homunculette did assault me,’ Cousin Justine pointed out, politely.
‘You started it,’ Homunculette barked.
‘Justice,’ leered Manjuele. ‘We want justice.’
‘Could I make an observation?’ said the Doctor.
Everyone swivelled in his direction. The Doctor cleared his throat. ‘I untied Mr Homunculette. Even though I knew it might lessen my chances of obtaining the property. Mr Homunculette’s bid is sanctioned by the High Council of Gallifrey itself, so I’m sure it’ll be very impressive. I’ve got as much reason to want him excluded from the auction as anyone.’
‘What’s your point?’ asked Cousin Justine.
‘My point is, this auction has to be conducted fairly, with all parties given a chance to speak.’
Justine allowed herself a smile. ‘But Mr Homunculette broke the rules of hospitality laid down by Mr Qixotl.’
Homunculette opened his mouth to spit out a reply, but mercifully, the Doctor didn’t let him get a word in. ‘Perhaps that’s true. But he’s here as an agent of the Time Lords. Your argument is with him, not with the ones he represents. If Mr Homunculette isn’t allowed his say, the Time Lords will have no one to speak for them at the auction. I don’t think they’ll take kindly to that, Cousin.’
‘Are you suggesting Gallifrey might attempt some form of violent retribution?’ Justine asked.
‘Let ’em try,’ grinned Manjuele.
‘That’s not for me to say,’ the Doctor replied. ‘I’m just suggesting diplomacy might be a better option than retribution. Wouldn’t you agree?’
Little Brother Manjuele looked at Cousin Justine. Cousin Justine looked at Homunculette. Homunculette looked like he hated everybody in the whole wide world.
‘Very well,’ Justine said.
‘Justice,’ Manjuele growled, but Justine gestured him to be silent.
E-Kobalt waddled towards the table. ‘The-pot-en-tial-aggress-ive-de-vic-es-have-been-el-im-in-at-ed,’ it reported. Qixotl glanced around the hall. The Raston cybernetic lap-dancers were lying in tangled heaps all over the place, but the music played on. ‘We-can-now-pro-ceed-with-the-auc-tion.’
‘Wait a minute,’ said Homunculette.
Oh, for pity’s sake, thought Qixotl, what now? ‘Yes, Mr H?’
‘I want an assurance that the Relic’s still safe. We all heard the alarms going. Somebody’s in the vault, the Shift told us.’
Qixotl tried not to scream. ‘I checked out the defences not five minutes ago, Mr H. Yeah, a couple of, erm, guests seem to have strayed into the vault, but the systems are dealing with them now.’
The Doctor looked alarmed. ‘In the vault? Who?’
‘Uh. Right.’ Qixotl scratched the back of his neck. He’d been hoping he wouldn’t have to be the one to tell the Doctor. ‘Sorry. Forgot to mention. Your little friend, yeah? The blonde one.’
The Doctor looked shocked. Oh no, thought Qixotl, the human girl must have had some kind of pedigree. ‘Sam? She went into the vault? Alone?’
‘Not alone,’ said Homunculette. ‘The other human went with her.’
The Doctor’s face froze in mid-gawp. He turned to Kortez, who sat blank-faced at the table. ‘You knew about this?’ he said, his voice not much louder than a whisper.
The Colonel nodded.
‘I’ve seen the defences in this place,’ the Doctor went on. ‘Don’t you understand? They’ll both