Doctor Who_ Beyond the Sun - Matthew Jones [61]
And she wasn’t exactly happy with that either.
But she was stuck with her decision now. If she let him go, he could come back with his friends, or with collaborators, or even the Sunless. Her head filled up with regrets. It was too late to go back.
It’s never too late to be what you might have been.
The old quotation had popped unbidden into her head. The author was an old Earth novelist, from an earlier period than Benny’s twentieth-century specialism. The woman’s name eluded Benny for the moment. It was something Jason had said to her when she had moaned on about never having completed her doctorate. About not being a real professor. He’d whispered it to her in bed on their honeymoon. He’d been so obliging, agreeing to exchange their luxurious hotel room for a tent on the forgotten planet Youkali where she had begun her field work again. She remembered how proud he’d looked when he’d attended her graduation ceremony.
She had been so sure then that the marriage would last. So sure that they would grow old together. Now she wasn’t sure about anything.
The door to the room wasn’t locked – there were no locked doors on Ursu – but she opened it anyway, before turning to the old man. ‘If you tell anyone where we are then we will very probably be killed.’
He just stared at her as if he hadn’t actually understood her words. Bernice found it difficult to meet his gaze. ‘Please. I won’t try to stop you. Just go.’
She began to tend to Errol, wiping the sweat from his face with a cool cloth and lighting the tiny steam ring to boil some water to treat his wounds. Errol had been unconscious for hours. Bernice suspected that he wasn’t going to wake up again. He was very near death.
She heard the door close behind her. She closed her eyes and felt more alone than she had in years.
She almost jumped out of her skin when a wrinkled hand gently touched her shoulder. ‘I think we can do a little better than boiled water and tender loving care, Bernice,’ the surgeon said, ushering her out of the chair.
Bernice was dazed. Then she saw that Scott was standing in the corner of the room. The sound of the door had been his entering, not the surgeon’s leaving. ‘I don’t understand,’ she started. ‘I thought you were . . .’
The surgeon had his back to her. He was already peeling back the bandages on Errol’s leg, and indicating to Scott to bring over one of the boxes of equipment. Without looking at her, he said, ‘I have no intention of leaving.’
Bernice was flabbergasted. A cautionary part of her was telling her to shut up, not to do anything that might change his mind, but she was too intrigued to pay it any attention. ‘But . . . I thought that . . . Oh Christ,’ she swore as the realization hit her. ‘You mean you put me through all of this to make a point?’
He turned at this remark, glaring at her over the hygiene mask he had just fixed over his mouth. ‘I didn’t put you through anything!’ he barked. ‘My freedom is all I have, all that I own.
You can’t separate me from it. It is me. Now either help, shut up or leave. It’s your choice. Be grateful that you have one.’
There was a long pause.
‘I’d like to help.’
For a moment, Benny thought she saw the flicker of a smile stretch the elastic of his mask.
‘Then come over here and do what you are told.’
Scott hummed to himself as he stood over the sink, washing the blood from his hands and arms.
He had enjoyed helping the healer, of course. He had always been interested in medicine despite never having learnt more than basic lifesaving skills. But most of all he had been relieved that Bernice had changed her mind. The day had been a tremendous struggle for him. Twice he had almost intervened and defended the healer against Bernice. He knew that if Bernice had attempted to kill the old man he would have physically fought her off.
But she had changed her mind. She had been faced with true choice and she had chosen well.