Doctor Who_ Camera Obscura - Lloyd Rose [20]
‘I don’t know the future.’
‘All the same to you. One big circle.’ She squeezed her eyes shut. ‘I’m getting a headache. I’m going now.’
‘Not yet.’ The Doctor caught her hand. She scowled at him and tried to pull away, but he held firm. He ran a finger along the back of her hand and up her arm. She froze. Like a rabbit with a snake, Chiltern thought. Perhaps he should stop this. But then her face calmed and smoothed out. The Doctor gently touched her forehead. She looked at him peacefully. The Doctor turned to Chiltern. ‘You can ask her about the trauma If you want.’
‘What?’ Chiltern stepped forward. ‘ls she...?’
‘Hypnotised. Yes.’
Chiltern looked at her in wonder. The features were Miss Jane’s, yet the face, somehow, was not. He sat on the edge of the bed, across from her. The Doctor went to the window; he seemed to have lost interest. Chiltern said, ‘What’s the first thing you remember?’
She was silent. After a minute or two, he probed gently. ‘The first thing you remember.’
‘It broke,’ she said.
‘What did?’
She was silent again, but just as Chiltern was about to speak, she said, ‘She broke the lamp.’
‘Miss Jane broke the lamp?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘It was an accident.’
‘Was anyone else there when she broke the lamp?’ No response. ‘Was anyone else –’
‘Papa.’
‘Was he angry that she broke the lamp?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did he strike her?’
‘Yes.’
Chiltern looked at the floor for a second, then continued:
‘And this is when you were “born”?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Had to come.’
‘Why?’
‘Had to come.’
‘Why did Miss Jane break the lamp?’
‘Already broken.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Broken when I came.’
‘How long had it been broken then?’
‘On the floor.’
‘Was anyone else there when you were born?’
‘No.’
‘How did you feel when you were born?’
‘I was bleeding.’
‘Had you cut yourself on the lamp?’
‘No.’
‘Why were you bleeding?’
‘She was hurt.’
‘How?’
‘Her father hurt us.’
Chiltern looked at the Doctor, appalled. The Doctor was watching the woman expressionlessly, his eyes very pale. ‘This is monstrous,’ Chiltern said.
‘Yes,’ the Doctor agreed. ‘But you’ve encountered it before.’
‘Not in a young lady of refinement.’
‘Surely you don’t think only the poor are capable of dreadful acts.’
‘But they have reason. The poverty, the hardship, the sheer crowding... Why would anyone who wasn’t in such circumstances...?’ He looked at the woman sadly.
‘You believe that a virtuous and just society would produce virtuous and just human beings, don’t you?’
Chiltern frowned, puzzled. ‘Of course.’
‘You’re a good man,’ the Doctor sighed. ‘Shall we let this poor woman rest?’
* * *
Chapter Four
Constance Jane did not rest. The man with the faraway eyes, Dr Smith, pulled her by the hand, very gently, back to herself, and then, still holding her hand, as if to keep her safe, lowered her into sleep. He couldn’t know that there was no peace for her in sleep. There were dreams there. Rather than meet them, she woke up.
The two men were gone. She was lying on the bed on her side, curled up, clutching the shawl around her. She looked at the pattern of sunlit squares on the rug. Like a quilt. Or a checkerboard. She was a piece in a game, and she didn’t know the rules. She didn’t even know the game.
That was all right, she knew all she needed to know – that the game, whatever it was, was finally over.
Realising that, she finally felt peaceful. She smiled at the sunlight on the rug and went to the window. Through the grid she could see green lawn, and some flowers. She wasn’t locked in; she could go out there if she wanted. But to what purpose? Things were the same out there in the sun as they were in here in the shadows. The light couldn’t put her back together.
She wished she could talk to