Doctor Who_ Halflife - Mark Michalowski [128]
asked the Doctor. ‘Can you put them back as they were – as individuals?’
‘Yes – although their memories may be a little impaired.’
‘Par for the course.’
Fitz glanced at the Doctor out of the corner of his eye. If only you knew, he thought.
‘Indeed,’ said Tain to the Doctor. ‘Your own memories, as I seem to recall –’
‘Leave it, Tain.’ The Doctor’s voice was suddenly hard. ‘Please. I’ve been through this already – I’m happy as I am, thank you very much. And heartily sick of people telling me that I have to remember. Fresh start, for both of us.’
‘And talking of remembering,’ Fitz chipped in, ‘how’s about you sort the two of us out now, Tain? Much as I love the Doctor here, the thought of another dream about his bottom is giving me the willies.’
‘You weren’t expecting that, were you?’
Madame Xing and her assistant watched the Doctor and Fitz enter rain’s tree. The glamour that she’d woven around them made invisible to the Palace Guard who stood idly by, clearly unsure of what they should do now.
‘He’s unpredictable,’ replied Madame Xing, a rasp of irritation in her humming, electronic voice. ‘But no, I wasn’t. If I were a gambler, I would have put money on his using the viroid.’
‘Trix means that much to him?’
‘Individuals mean that much to him.’ She sounded vaguely bitter. ‘When he remembers them.’
‘If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you “had issues” – as humans say.’
She paused and tipped back her head, looking up at the bright blue sky.
‘Shall we say I’m disappointed.’ She waved her gloved hand dismissively.
‘Still. . . we’ve plenty to keep ourselves occupied with until he does remember.’
She tapped the side of her head cryptically. ‘Don’t forget.’
‘And if he chooses never to remember? He sounded fairly definite.’
‘With the Doctor, nothing is definite. But yes, there is always that possibility.
Perhaps his next regeneration will be. . . more amenable.’
233
They stood in silence for a few moments.
‘So, can we go now?’ He looked around and rubbed his arms, despite the morning sunshine. Madame Xing nodded and reached up to pull back her hood. Since they’d come to Espero, she’d spent so much time swathed in the black outfit that he’d almost forgotten what she looked like – and he found himself smiling at the unexpectedness of her face, her eyes squinting into the sun.
‘Yes, I think we can.’ She glanced up and to the right, consulting her internal chronometer. ‘We have an appointment to keep.’ Madame Xing opened her hand: nestling in her palm was a tiny, frozen ball of fire.
Tain set the reintegration process in motion, and watched silently as the walls of the chamber folded themselves around the Doctor and Fitz.
‘Tain!’ came Fitz’s voice, loudly, in his mind. ‘Can the Doctor hear me?’
‘I can allow him to, if you –’
‘No, no. It’s OK. Just me and you, yeah?’
Tain agreed.
‘When you put us back as we were,’ Fitz said, ‘there’s something you need to know. About me. I don’t quite know how it happened, but I have my memories back – memories of things that have happened since I started travelling with the Doctor. I don’t know how I lost them, or whether I’d just done so much that they’d been pushed to the back by new ones, but can you make sure that the Doctor doesn’t get them? Leave his memories just as they are. OK?’
‘I can do that, Fitz. Can I ask why?’
‘Because he doesn’t want to remember.’ Fitz gave a gruff little laugh. ‘Understandably. I don’t know quite what’s going through his head – although I suppose I should, seeing as I’ve got bits of him in here with me – but he has his reasons. I know that now.’
‘Can you cope with knowing these things, when he doesn’t?’
‘I don’t think I have much choice. Now that I know, I don’t want to unknow.
Does that make sense?’ If he could have shaken his head, Tain knew, he would have done. ‘Maybe it’s just evening things up a bit – he’s had some heavy stuff to carry around. Now it’s my turn.’
No matter how much he interacted with them, Tain thought, he doubted that he’d ever really understand humans: one who’d made a conscious decision to forget his