Doctor Who_ Last Man Running - Chris Boucher [26]
‘I’m an investigator of a sort, I suppose.’
‘Of what sort exactly?’
Before the Doctor could think of a suitably anodyne response Pertanor cut in. ‘I thought you were another predator,’ he said. ‘It was a serious relief when the noise turned out to be you and Leela.’ He peered off into the darkness. ‘Is she all right out there, do you think?’
The truth was, the Doctor wasn’t confident about the way Leela had wandered off to see what was howling. ‘I’m sure she is,’ he said confidently. ‘I’m only just beginning to realise how very good she is at that sort of thing.’
‘Is that why you brought her here, Thedoctor? You know offworlds training is against Guild law, don’t you?’
‘Please, call me The,’ the Doctor said taking a chance. ‘I wouldn’t dream of breaking the law, Ri. May I call you Ri?’
Rinandor nodded, puzzled. ‘You’re very formal,’ she remarked. ‘And – no offence – but you’re also very thin for a toody.’
So the first syllable of any name is used as a standard diminutive and thin may be seen as an insult, the Doctor thought, and wondered in passing if these people might derive from a subjugated group. ‘Perhaps I’m not a toody,’ he said noncommittally.
‘You think because your fighter is a firster you can pass too,’ she mocked. ‘It’ll never happen, The.’
‘Why would I want to pass?’ the Doctor asked.
‘Ambition.’ She caught Pertanor’s eye and smiled a little.
‘Skinny toodies are noted for it apparently.’
The Doctor caught the look that passed between them and, wondering what it meant he said: ‘“Let me have men about me that are fat; sleek-headed men and such as sleep o’ nights. Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look; he thinks too much: such men are dangerous.”’ It had been his experience that quoting Shakespeare, his favourite poet from his favourite planet, usually produced interesting reactions but in this case if he had wanted to boost suspicion into anxiety and hostility it seemed he could not have made a better choice. ‘It’s from a dramatic work by a poet of my acquaintance,’ he explained. ‘From long ago and far away.’
Rinandor stared at him in silence. Pertanor said, ‘Of your acquaintance?’ His voice was incredulous and sounded angry.
It struck the Doctor that ‘long ago and far away’ was perhaps not the ideal choice of words in the circumstances.
‘His work,’ he corrected himself. ‘I’m acquainted with his work.’
Rinandor sighed. ‘Do you take us for blasphemers or just for fools?’
‘Was it something I said?’
‘You know as well as I do there are firsters who’d kill you on the spot for speaking the text.’
Speaking the text? The Doctor would have been amazed if there was anything left that could amaze him. Shakespeare, he thought, or a coincidence: infinite monkey programmes on infinite monkey machines? And if it is the Bard of Avon then how long since the ancestors of their ancestors’ ancestors left the home system?
‘So how are we supposed to react?’ Rinandor was saying.
‘Are we supposed to report you? Is that what you’re trying to find out?’
Sacred texts and paranoia. If they did originate from Earth they had brought their worst failings with them and nurtured them through generations forgotten and gone. ‘Surely we’re all friends here,’ he said.
Pertanor giggled suddenly. ‘You’re a bold toody,’ he said.
‘Come on, Ri, you can’t believe he’s here because of us. I mean look at the state we’re in.’
‘Doesn’t it strike you as peculiar that he doesn’t care that we’re Investigators? That he doesn’t give a crap that he’s crossed an OIG perimeter?’
‘That was unintentional. I had no idea there was a perimeter in place,’ the Doctor said, and wondered how he was going to find out what an OIG perimeter was.
‘Was bringing a fighter here unintentional too?’
‘You mean Leela? It was accidental more than unintentional,’ the Doctor said. ‘It was her idea to travel with me. She rather outgrew her background. She’s quite a headstrong girl, you know.’ He beamed. ‘You could say