Doctor Who_ Last Man Running - Chris Boucher [30]
‘And as popular as a fart in an escape pod,’ Rinandor added, almost helpless with merriment.
‘It’s important to know,’ the Doctor said earnestly.
‘About Sozerdor?’ Pertanor seemed puzzled and then immediately suspicious. ‘Why? Have you been lying to us?
Are you a bony-brained liar?’
‘Just tell the Doctor what he wants to know, will you,’ Leela demanded. ‘You people are not very clever, are you?’
‘Typical,’ said Rinandor. ‘That is just typical. Never trust a friendly firster.’
‘It’s important to know about the dark periods on this planet. Pe,’ the Doctor said, putting all the placatory charm he could manage into his voice and into his smile. ‘There’s something strange going on and if I can get enough information I can work out what it is and that will be good for all of us.’
Pertanor made a heroic effort to look dignified and sensible. ‘The nights are always short, have always been short, will always be short. And that is the best irrelevant crap that money can buy,’ he said, and promptly fell asleep.
The Doctor looked at Rinandor. ‘Is that true?’ he asked her.
‘He said so, didn’t he? You can trust my Pe. Even if he is a bit on the skinny side,’ she murmured, as she too nodded off.
Leela felt distinctly odd. ‘This is a very strange place,’ she said. ‘There seem to be only predators. That is not possible, is it?’ She frowned and closed her eyes to think. After a little while, she opened them again. ‘Unless they eat each other.
Would that make sense, Doctor? Or should I say The?’
‘Almost anything will make sense under the right circumstances, the Doctor said. ‘And unless you’re careful you can convince yourself of all sorts of things without any evidence to back them up. For example, how is it –’ He paused, and then raised his voice slightly. ‘Are you listening?’
Leela opened her drooping eyelids wide. ‘I am listening. I am listening.’
‘How is it that specialist night predators have evolved on a planet with no real night to speak of?’
‘I do not know,’ Leela said, struggling to concentrate. ‘How is it?’
‘I don’t know either.’
‘So why bother to ask the question?’
The Doctor grinned. ‘Only lawyers and policemen ask questions to which they already know the answers.’
‘Like those two toodies,’ Leela said and looked at the sleeping pair. ‘They are what you call policemen, is that not so? Investigators? They are the ones who make sure everyone else follows the rules of the tribe?’
‘Something like that,’ the Doctor agreed.
‘Do toodies only come in twos, do you think?’
‘No,’ said the Doctor seriously, ‘but the names firster and toody must surely derive from one and two.’
‘One and two what?’ Leela asked, peering at him owlishly.
‘Do not bother to tell me. You do not know. Do you know that you do not know more than you do know?’
‘I do know that, yes. It’s one of the things that make life tolerable.’
‘Not knowing where no-night night predators come from makes life tolerable?’
‘Knowing there’s a question about them. Of course there is one obvious possibility.’
‘Yes?’
‘Yes.’
Leela yawned copiously. ‘Go on then. Tell me what it is.’
‘It would be better if you could tell me,’ the Doctor suggested, hoping to get her to focus, and feeling anyway that this might be a good time for a lesson in thinking.
‘No, it would not,’ Leela said flatly, ‘because you already know. You do not ask questions you already know the answers to unless you are a policeman or a lawgiver.’
‘Lawyer,’ the Doctor corrected her. ‘And I forgot teachers; and that I keep underestimating you.’
‘It is because I am younger than you.’
‘It’s possible that those animals haven’t evolved here.’
Leela thought for a long moment. ‘Why would anyone bring them in from the outside?’ She closed her eyes again.
‘Why indeed? That’s a good question, Leela. We’re going to talk about that and you’re going to stay awake. Open your eyes now. Leela!’
Leela opened her eyes and sighed. ‘I feel strange.’
‘It was the meat,’ the Doctor said. ‘The possibility should