Doctor Who_ Match of the Day - Chris Boucher [20]
„Spare me the gnomic utterances of your agent and stop trying to outwit the security system. You‟re not equipped for the job,‟ Fanson said.
Leela ignored him and continued to press the point of the knife under the unyielding band.
„Listen Doctor,‟ Fanson said, „it doesn‟t matter whether there was a cunning plan or not. The rules only require that the possibility of your having a cunning plan could exist.‟
„Regardless of the truth,‟ the Doctor said.
„Regardless of the truth,‟ Fanson agreed.
„Which is,‟ the Doctor went on, „that there was no cunning plan; I had no cunning plan; no cunning plan existed in any way, shape or form. In terms of cunning plans I was newly arrived in this sick and perverted world. In terms of cunning plans I was a stranger in a strange land. In terms of cunning plans I was as innocent as an egg.‟
„Now you‟re getting the idea,‟ Fanson enthused. „So your cunning plan was this: your fighter deliberately engineers an unconsummated kill. You‟re both arrested.‟
„Strictly speaking I was given the choice,‟ the Doctor said.
Fanson shook his head. „You were asked: do you wish to accompany your client to the lock-up? It‟s a common mistake to assume that means you have a choice.‟
„Ah,‟ the Doctor said. „A ritual form of words. Interesting.‟
„Why?‟ Leela demanded, abruptly giving up on her furiously determined assault on the wrist band. She slammed her wrist against the scanner plate, and then did it again and then again.
„Why is it interesting?‟ the Doctor asked mildly.
„Why did the referee not mean what he said? Why was it a ritual form of words?‟ She slapped the scanner plate with the flat of her hand but it was clearly no more than a gesture of frustration.
„Politeness,‟ the Doctor said. „Its purpose is to calm a violent situation. Some people call it good manners.‟ He shrugged. „I call it interesting.‟
„Do you want to chat amongst yourselves or do you want to hear my brilliant plan to save your hands, feet and what pass for your brains?‟ Fanson asked. „Because if you don‟t want to listen to me I can go back to working on my own problem here.‟
It suddenly struck the Doctor that for a prisoner Fanson seemed quite relaxed and remarkably unconcerned about being overheard or spied on in any way. „I apologise,‟ the Doctor said. „We meant no disrespect, did we Leela?‟
Leela frowned. „He talks much but says little. He should not be offended by interruption.‟
There were times, the Doctor thought, when she seemed to go out of her way to be offensive. He smiled encouragingly at Fanson. „You were outlining the mythical cunning plan.‟
„Mythic possibly,‟ Fanson declared. „This is a mythic plan.
So you‟re arrested. Hell breaks loose. Snot and teeth all over.
The worlds and their satellites, every scuffling man and woman and all the various variations, hear about the case.
To a man, woman and whatever, they all want to know how the rematch will play. Without breaking sweat you and your charmless fighter are interplanetary players. Only now there isn‟t going to be a rematch. Abrupt end of cunning plan,‟
„I am charmless because the Doctor made me give up my charms,‟ Leela said. „The Doctor told me they got in the way of thought. He told me they were foolish nonsense for the superstitious and the lazy-minded.‟
Fanson ignored her. „The actions of the referee,‟ he went on,
„have denied you the opportunity to maximise your client‟s potential. It‟s scuffling blood-spattered brilliance - you would have made a fortune - you could have pushed her straight to Prime. You could have been somebody. She could have been a contender. You can argue agent-fighter privilege. You can argue denial of your first subsection rights under Kill Rule Two. You can argue that it wasn‟t an unconsummated kill but an involuntarily interrupted contest under Kill Rule Three Subsection Seven. I‟m a genius. They‟ll fall over themselves to turn you loose.