Doctor Who_ So Vile a Sin - Ben Aaronovitch [75]
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Could you repeat that? I was miles away.’ A pleasing scattering of gasps and angry mutterings. The Doctor decided to push it. ‘I was just admiring the architecture – it’s so wonderfully intimidating.’
‘Doctor,’ said the Bailiff, ‘you’ve been accused of the worst crime this court has seen in its lengthy history.’ Scattered cries of
‘hear, hear’. ‘How do you plead?’
‘I refuse to plead,’ said the Doctor. ‘I don’t recognize this court.’
‘This is the highest court in the Empire,’ someone called out.
‘How can you fail to recognize it?’
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‘I’ve never seen any of you before in my life,’ said the Doctor.
‘It might help if I didn’t have that wretched light in my eyes.’ He looked up to the beam’s source. ‘Shut that off!’ he yelled.
After a moment, and the light obediently snapped off. More mutterings from the court. Remarkable the effect a bit of shouting could have on people. ‘That’s much better,’ he said. 'Now I can see you all properly. I’d like to thank you for coming here tonight. I –’
‘Doctor!’ thundered the Bailiff. ‘You must enter a plea!’ He was an absolutely enormous man, wearing Adjudicators’ robes and bearing a huge ceremonial sword, signing with sharp gestures of his great hands.
The voice was coming from a balloon-shaped drone. Three gun nozzles emerged from the metallic shape, covering every corner of the room. ‘If you continue to obstruct these proceedings, a charge of contempt will be added to your record.’
‘Regicide and contempt of court? I’ll never get a job with a record like that.’
Someone in the audience called, ‘I think we can move on to the sentence.’
‘I demand a retrial!’ shouted the Doctor.
‘You haven’t had a trial,’ said the Bailiff.
‘Exactly my point!’ said the Doctor.
‘But you admitted killing the Empress,’ someone called out.
‘Any more of that and I’ll have this court cleared!’ retorted the Doctor.
‘You confessed!’
‘Hearsay.’
‘I was there!’
The Doctor said, ‘It was under duress.’ He was quite amazed that the two armoured guards who’d brought him in hadn’t thumped him yet. He glanced up at the bulky chap to his right.
For a moment he thought he saw a movement under the skin beneath the man’s chin. He squinted up at him until the guard shifted uncomfortably, as though the Doctor’s stare might shift some of the blame on to him.
‘Duress had nothing to do with it,’ insisted the Bailiff.
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‘Of course it did,’ said the Doctor. His eye was caught by a flash of metal in the audience – gone in an instant. He felt a prickle down his spine. What was going on here? ‘Intergalactic regulation four eight one, paragraph one, subsection forty-five, paragraph nine. “A person surrounded by armed guards pointing guns at him or her and shouting a lot shall be considered to be under duress.”’
‘There’s no such regulation!’
‘All right then,’ said the Doctor. ‘I demand a trial by combat.’
‘What?’ said the Bailiff.
‘Anyone care to step outside?’ said the Doctor, looking around.
Here and there he caught flashes of movement, like something crawling around the edge of his field of vision. Any moment now. ‘I’m proficient in hand-to-hand combat, blades, custard pies and the Bohemian teaspoon.’
‘That is enough!’ boomed the Bailiff. The whole court fell silent, even the Doctor. ‘The charge has been read. In the face of a prior confession and overwhelming evidence, the regulations allow me to bypass the plea. Doctor, by the power of the Imperial Court, I sentence you to –’
The monsters arrived.
It was the Duke Adeleke who died first. He was suddenly covered in spikes, long, curved structures like overgrown fingernails, bursting out through his skin. He stood up and roared.
No one screamed. No one even moved. Everyone turned to look at the Duke, as though he’d said something rude.
‘Oh,’ said Genevieve, her voice clear in the silent courtroom.
‘Shit!’
The man sitting next to her, a minor official, burst into flames.
He stood up on his seat, the fire running over his entire body, and clawed at her, trying to get past her.
A Marquess howled and twisted