Doctor Who_ The Also People - Ben Aaronovitch [127]
with plasma rifles – what do you think?'
'I hope you're joking,' said Bernice.
Kadiatu grinned. 'Actually I thought I'd bum around for a bit, see what's what, maybe pick up an irritating mannerism and cultivate an air of flippancy in times of crisis. Works for you know who.'
'Will you have companions?'
'Got one already,' said Kadiatu and glanced at aM!xitsa.
'Is that true?' Roz asked the drone.
'Who, me?' said aM!xitsa. 'Explore the entire cosmos of space/time, meet new civilizations and patronize them rigid? I've got much better things to do, knitting patterns to finish, interesting pebbles to collect. Besides I've yet to be convinced that Kadiatu will be capable of getting her machine to go where and when she wants it.'
'Good choice,' said Bernice.
'Actually it's all part of a deal with God,' said Kadiatu. 'We'll act as its temporal back-up, just in case the High Council welsh on the treaty.'
'Will you go home?'
Kadiatu shook her head. 'Not for a very long time. Earth is my linear reference point in the same way that Gallifrey is the Doctor's, going back would be "complicated".'
Exile, thought Bernice, feeling a surge of pity for Kadiatu.
They stripped off as the sun grew hotter. AM!xitsa unshipped three blocks of memory plastic from the flitter. Once on the sand they popped open to become adjustable beach-beds. Bernice changed into a strapless bikini that she'd 'bought' on Whynot; Kadiatu and Roz preferred to go au naturel.
'Nothing so silly-looking as a bikini line on an African woman,' explained Kadiatu. Roz laughed.
Bernice decided that there was an unpleasant current of nationalism running between the two women that would have to be knocked on the head – preferably in the next couple of hours.
Roz got out her videobook. Bernice persuaded Kadiatu to rip her brick-thick paperback in half so that Bernice could start reading it without waiting for her to finish. It was a classic bodice-ripper written in 2361 but set in 1980s London. Bernice amused herself by noting the anachronisms in the margin.
It quickly, by degrees, got too hot to read and then too hot to think. AM!xitsa floated over and rubbed sunscreen onto all three of their backs simultaneously. In between ministering to their every whim, the drone had excavated a wide depression in the beach and was building a series of lopsided towers out of compacted sand. 'When the tide comes in,' said aM!xitsa, 'this will be an exact scale model of The Mote in God's Left Eye.'
'Won't it wash away?' asked Bernice.
'Of course it will,' said the drone. 'That's the whole point.'
Kadiatu noticed that Bernice had her sun-shade up. 'Hey,' she said to Roz, 'Benny's wimped out already.'
'I don't know,' said Roz. 'These European women have no stamina.'
'Right,' said Bernice, 'I've had quite enough of this not-so-crypto-fascist panafrican neo-nationalism. AM!xitsa? I believe that these young ladies' brains are overheating.'
'Can't have that,' said aM!xitsa.
Bernice watched in satisfaction as the two women were carried kicking and screaming out over the sea and then dropped. Kadiatu managed to twist in the air and pierce the water cleanly but Roz landed, arms windmilling, right on her backside in an impressive plume of spray. Bernice winced in sympathy and started to laugh.
She laughed so hard that she didn't even notice she was flying until she was over the sea.
'AM!xitsa,' she said reproachfully, 'we had an agreement.'
'I'm sorry, Bernice,' it said. 'Equality of opportunity is a fundamental tenet of my society.'
She looked down and saw Roz, six metres below, waving up at her and grinning. 'Let's not be too dogmatic about this,' said Bernice. 'Oh, shiiiiiiit!'
Bernice came up spluttering, relieved to find the water was only chest deep. 'Where's my bra?'
she yelled. 'You flying piece of junk, that bikini was one of a kind.'
Something wet and skimpy slapped onto her head from above