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'I am Erik, General of the 99th Vykoid Expeditionary Force. I have at my disposal the might and fury of the Vykoid Army. And you will surrender to me!'

Amy looked at General Erik with curiosity. He had the unconvincing swagger of a new boy on his first day at school.

Brash and knowing, yet a look that suggested he'd be only too easy to unsettle.

'Nah,' the Doctor was saying. 'Not surrendering to you in a beast like that. You've come prepared for the wrong century, make that wrong millennia... You're not going to get anywhere if those are your wheels. Now look, not to worry, I can help you get home, but I won't have a war. I forbid it. No one gets hurt today.'

To capture the moment, Amy slid her phone open and snapped a picture on her mobile phone. General Erik's face reddened with rage.

'That's not helping,' the Doctor said to Amy. 'Peace in Our Time wasn't interrupted by passers-by uploading the pictures onto Facebook...'

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'Peace in Our Time didn't last long anyway.’Amy pointed out. 'It didn't end up saving any lives.'

General Erik waved his baton angrily. 'You are fools. We will take no lives. Our slaves will work for the glory of the new Vykoid Empire.'

Amy could see the Doctor flinch at the word, his revolve hardening. 'What do you mean - slaves?' he demanded.

With the confidence of the victor, General Erik calmly explained. 'We have a more worthwhile occupation for these New Yorkers. I have observed them today, and they are a weak and unproductive species. The Desiccated mines of Cassetia 2 have been waiting for workers. We hoped to take the famous mighty beasts of Ancient Earth to do the work of millions of Vykoids. But as there are none left, I shall return instead with millions of your well-fed drones.'

The Doctor's face fell. He looked more than a little disgusted. 'Amy, have you heard of the island in the Pacific made up of dried seagull droppings? After hundreds of years it turns into guano and it's mined to be made into explosives.' Amy pulled a face as the Doctor kept on. 'Well the Cassetia asteroids were excreted several millions years ago by a mighty Space-Boar. A race of giant carnivores, they ate only rotting meat from the swamps of Malmatine 5, and grew so huge they evolved into creatures capable of travelling in space. A herd of

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Space-Boars ate their way around the universe for 20,000

years before producing the asteroids. Some say it's the worst smell in the entire galaxy. The most concentrated foul stench you can possibly imagine. I've heard terrible stories of the Vykoid slave mines. The smell is so foul, that one whiff can make your hair fall out, and turn your eyes green. The atmosphere of the mines actually prolongs the lives of the slaves. Anyone they take will work for three hundred years or more...'

General Erik's plan seemed insane to Amy. There were millions of people in New York, and there was no way the miniature army could simply kidnap all of them. 'Doctor?

Can't they, you know, take the animals here?'

'Not exactly fair on the poor animals, is it? But hang on, good point, why can't you take beasts from elsewhere?'

Amy thought she could see General Erik grinning. 'You will be easier to defeat.'

Amy was surprised by his confidence. The Vykoid army had the enchanting freedom of shipwrecked men, with nothing more to lose, and everything to gain. Amy whispered in the Doctor's ear. 'We can stop them, right?'

The Doctor grinned at Amy. 'Oh, yes!' Turning his head away from General Erik, he addressed the neat ranks of soldiers, gazing into their beady little eyes. 'Listen to me, army of Vykoid warriors. Your

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war is over. Your time has gone. There is not a single person or creature on the planet that you are fit to touch. Return to your planet, and tell everyone you meet that the people of Earth are born free. You got a problem with that? Come see me!'

The Vykoid troops watched the Doctor stony-faced.

'And don't listen to old Sour-Face here.’ the Doctor went on,