Doctor Who_ The Gunfighters - Donald Cotton [48]
‘Who in hell was that?’ asked Warren, bringing down Florentino Cruz with a casual left and right.
‘Nobody special,’ they assured him.
Ah! The transitoriness of theatrical fame!
And the boys in the gallery, reckoning they could tell well enough by now how this thing was going to turn out, left Frank, Curly and Florentino to make their own arrangements, and withdrew to Ma Golightly’s.
Witnessing the departure of these unreliable floating voters, Pa thought, Hell, they might as well get it over.
So, lining up as if for a square dance, the Clantons and the Earp faction advanced slowly towards each other along the shopping precinct.
Strictly speaking, no further dialogue was called for at this late stage in the proceedings, the parties involved being well aware of the formalities about to ensue. But blabber-mouth Billy, the fastest streak of lightning as ever called for a competent conductor, couldn’t leave well alone, could he?
‘Earp,’ he called, ‘I already sent your little brother to a high time in Hades! Time for you to join the action there, I’d say - ’
Which was the last thing he did say; because shortly thereafter he had no further engagements to speak of on account of Wyatt and Warren, indulging in a certain amount of overkill, simultaneously shooting him in his rotten heart.
However, Doc Holliday, with untypical lack of judgement, chose to shoot Phineas in the head –
wherefrom the flattened bullet ricochetted elsewhere with a petulant whine. So Phineas merely slept once more, another crease in his long-suffering skull.
And Pa himself was presently put out of action by the attachment of his faithful dog to an ankle of which it had happy memories.
Which left Ike; who was about to redress the balance of the casualty figures somewhat by drilling the Doctor, a thing to which he had been looking forward, when from behind him...
‘Hands up!’ said Steven Regret and Kate Elder, in their customary close harmony...
And Dodo came running from one end of the street, saying, so that’s where they’d all been, while she’d been so anxious; and Kate from the other, saying as she’d always been faithful, and how could anybody ever have thought different?
And Doc raised an eyebrow, and left it at that for the time being.
So all friends were safely re-united at last – and fortunate to be so, in the unlikely circumstances.
On the side of the angels, Warren had acquired a bullet in the shoulder, and Doc a thirst – which was nothing unusual for either of them.
And Bat Masterson emerged cautiously from his gaol-house, noted the high proportion of corpses disfiguring the amenities of a town he was trying to keep clean – for God’s sake! – and thought he’d better take some kind of positive action.
So he arrested Eddie Foy for causing an obstruction.
And that was about it, really...
‘There’s just one thing,’ mused Wyatt, some time later in the O.K. Corral. ‘Seems like only the other day, Doctor whatever your name is, you told me you was a master of legerdemain and prestidigitation? Whereas your recent performance on the shooting-iron does not incline me to support that vainglorious claim! Have you, by any chance, been guilty of providing me with false information, such as would be an offence unto the Lord?’
‘Not at all,’ said the Doctor. ‘Now, if you’ll all stand in a semi-circle, and stay quite still, my friends and I will show you a very difficult trick...’
And they stepped into the TARDIS...
Epilogue
‘Well, of course,’ said Doc Holliday, ‘seein’ as I’d been told about the surprisin’ habits of that there infernal contraption by young Miss Dodo during the course of our sojourning together, personally I was not surprised any more than somewhat when it took off for points invisible.
‘But Wyatt now, an’ the others, they was struck a touch transmogrified