Doctor Who_ The Myth Makers - Donald Cotton [28]
Anyway, it was quite a decent little triumph, considering no one had had any time to prepare for it. A couple of trumpeters stopped larking about with their dice, as soon as they noticed us; and got fell in behind, as the expression is. After a brief discussion amongst themselves, they decided on a suitable programme; whereupon we were treated to a selection of gems from ‘The Fair Maid of Troy’ – and that soon brought the crowds out. Flags were waved in a desultory manner, and a startled cheer or two rang out; and as soon as he saw he’d got as much of their attention as was ever likely, Paris climbed on top of the TARDIS – which was still, thank Zeus, where he’d left it –
and made a short speech.
‘My friends,’ he began, which was pushing it a bit, I thought,
‘nobody can deny that total war is an unpleasant pursuit –
especially when fought under the present conditions; against enemies who refuse to come out and be defeated like gentlemen!
‘However, today I have met one honourable exception: my prisoner, the redoubtable and hitherto undefeated, deservedly popular hero, Diomede. Alone among the Greeks, he has dared to face me on the field of battle in single combat. So then; let’s hear it for Diomede!’
After the very briefest respectful silence, he proceeded.
‘Well, as you so rightly see, it did him no good; and that, in my opinion, makes his action all the more commendable, as he must have known from the outset how it would turn out! He had heard of my reputation, but nevertheless, he did not flinch from what he considered to be his duty. A strong man, you will notice
– and as worthy an opponent as I am likely to find in a coon’s age!
‘And so I say this: it’s a start! If only some of his companions are emboldened by his example to face me – or perhaps, rather, to face my brother, Troilus, who really ought to be given more of a chance – then the war can be brought to a swift and victorious end.
‘So, in conclusion, let me remind you that we fight for the honour of the House of Priam, my well-known father; we fight for the honour of Troy itself; and lastly, we fight for the honour of Helen – as who has not, at some time or other?
‘Thank you for your loyal attention, my friends – and may the Great Horse of Asia be over you always!’
At least that’s what I think he said: and then sensing with his orator’s instinct that he’d just about covered everything, he slid painfully off the TARDIS; and Steven and I followed him in to the palace, beneath a loyal hail of well-meant vegetable offerings.
No – public life will never be for me.
16
The Trojans at Home
I will say this for the Trojans: they did themselves uncommonly well when it came to the basic luxuries of life! It’s odd, you know
– one gets so used to the idea that we Greeks were the ones who rocked the cradle of civilization, and all the rest of it, that it comes as something of a shock to realize that the Trojans were way ahead of us when it came to gracious living. You won’t find that in the history books, of course, because we wrote most of ’em ourselves; but I tell you, I was actually there, before the deluge, and I saw the whole thing: the cantilevered aqueducts, the under-floor heating, the splendid sanitary arrangements – the lot!
The architecture of the palace, for instance, was like nothing else I’d seen this side of Babylon – and I’ve been to most places, and beyond! Even from the outside, the building had been impressive; inside, it took your breath away – and a greater contrast to Agamemnon’s tent could scarcely be imagined. That took your breath away for quite different reasons.
Marble featured prominently – and where they’d got it from I can’t imagine! We Athenians have some in and around the Acropolis, of course – and long may it remain there – but then, we’re sitting on top of the stuff; whereas Troy was built on oil-bearing shale, which is no use to anybody. So presumably Priam’s ancestors must have hauled it with them from wherever they came from in the first place – which shows confidence, if nothing else! I mean, you