Doctor Who_ The Myth Makers - Donald Cotton [33]
The Doctor looked caring and compassionate: he had every sympathy with human frailty, and said so. ‘Well, perhaps Agamemnon, then – if you’re afraid?’
‘Now that might be quite an idea!’ mused Odysseus, cheering up somewhat. ‘But no – he wouldn’t go along with it...’
‘Whyever not? It would be a privilege.’
‘I know – but he wouldn’t see it that way. Fellows a fool! No
– we’ll have to think of someone else.’
‘Well, anyone would do: a child could operate it!’ ‘Really?
Or an old man?’
‘Oh yes, of course he could. Old Nestor would do admirably.’
‘I wasn’t thinking of Nestor!’
‘You weren’t?’
‘No. Tell me, Doctor – how would you feel about being the first man to fly?’
The Doctor’s brain raced in ever-diminishing circles. I could tell. by his ears which went puce.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘I should be extremely honoured, of course.’
‘I hoped you might be. You deserve it, after all the hard work you’ve put in.’
‘Yes. But, dear me – there’s a problem.’
‘Good thing you thought of it in time. What is it?’
‘The machine won’t work!’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Positive. Yes, look here – I seem to have made a mistake in my calculations. The weight-volume ratio’s all wrong, do you see? Silly of me!’
‘Very.’
‘No, we’ll just have to face it, I’m afraid: man was never meant to fly!’
‘Oh, I don’t know about that. I mean, if your machine won’t work, you’ll just have to fly without it, won’t you?’
‘What... what do you mean?’
‘Well, surely the catapult will work all right. I think that’s a very good idea of yours – and it seems such a pity to waste it, that I propose to fire you over the walls of Troy. Then you can help them for a change. That’ll teach ‘em!’
‘But I should be killed!’
‘You must do as you think best. But since you have failed me, you are now expendable.’
‘Wait! I haven’t failed you yet!’
‘You mean, there’s more?’
‘Oh, a very great deal! Yes, I’ve just had a far better idea!’
‘Nothing like the prospect of death to concentrate the mind, is there? Go on!’
The Doctor took a deep breath, and sentenced the world to Greek civilization.
‘What would you say to a horse?’ he asked.
‘Is it a riddle?’
‘No, no – of course not! I mean, a huge wooden horse – Oh, about forty feet high, I should think. Look. I’ll do you a drawing.’
‘Don’t bother – I know perfectly well what a horse looks like.’
‘Good. Then that’s the first half of the battle.’
‘I can’t wait for the second. What on earth are you rambling on about now?’
‘I’m trying to tell you, aren’t I? Listen – you make the body of the horse hollow; then you fill it with your picked warriors; and you leave it on the plain for the Trojans to capture! How about that?’
‘It would be one way of solving our food shortage, I suppose. Got any more ideas?’
‘I do wish you’d pay attention! Can’t you see – they’ll drag it into the city?’
‘It’s my belief you’re demented! Why on earth would they do a silly thing like that?’
‘Because,’ said the Doctor triumphantly, ‘they’ll think it’s the Great Horse of Asia, come down to save them!’ There was a long pause.
‘And just how would they expect it to do that?’ asked Odysseus, having looked at the plan from every angle.
‘By frightening away the Greek army. Because that’s what it would seem to have done, wouldn’t it? Everyone of you not required for horse-construction duty, would sail away over the horizon.’
‘And only come back once the horse is inside the gates?’
‘Precisely! Splendid! I knew you’d see it! Well, how does it strike you?’ asked the Doctor, excited as if he’d thought of it himself. What we writers really need is absolutely water-tight copyright laws; but I don’t suppose we’ll ever get ’em.
‘I must think it over,’ said Odysseus, cautiously. ‘At least, I don’t think its ever been done before,’ he admitted. ‘On the other hand, that might be against it, in certain quarters... Tell you what, give me half an hour to work out a few details.’
‘To quantify the project,’ murmured