Doctor Who_ The Romans - Donald Cotton [27]
Unfortunately, however, I had neglected to observe that the device was fitted with counter-weights, so that I was at once flung from my feet into the air, where I described a large arc; while the door flew open to its full aperture. And, as he sprang through it, closely pursued by the entire, outraged pack - or pride - I realised with sudden dismay that this exit led, not to some inner sanctum, but to the gladiatorial arena; where, as I judged from the swelling cheers of the multitude, the morning’s unappealing performance had just started..
DOCUMENT XXV
Seventh Extract from the Journal of Ian Chesterton
The widely anticipated dawn at last arrived, heralded by my gaoler with the news that it looked like being a good house, as there was queuing at all prices.
I derived what cheer I could from this announcement -
for one doesn’t, of course, wish one’s death to pass entirely unnoticed - and was then led through the damp catacombs, given my weapons, and ushered into the arena; where my appearance was greeted in a manner reminiscent of the Lower Fourth disapproving, as ever, of their examination results.
But I had little time to reflect on the manifest bias of the audience, for my attention was at once drawn to the box of the Emperor Nero himself, where to my astonishment I saw that Barbara Wright made one of the Imperial Party.
I ventured a wave, to which she responded with a barely perceptible flicker of the fingers, my gesture having been intercepted by a lady who could only have been Poppea, and who thereupon blew me a kiss.
Nero glanced irritably at both girls, and declared that that would be quite enough of that kind of thing, thank you; but any subsequent remarks he may have uttered were drowned by the storm of exaggerated cheering which greeted the entrance of my adversary, the giant Delos.
He appeared to have slept well, and advanced to meet me with hand outstretched; but on my being silly enough to shake it, he crushed nerveless several of my fingers in his iron grip - which is the sort of thing which gets wrestling a had name, in my opinion. Nevertheless it went down very well with the crowd; and having acknowledged their approval, he said ‘For goodness sake, don’t make such a fuss, or they’ll think it’s all faked! Now, pull yourself together: first of all we have to address the Emperor.’
‘As what?’ I groaned, not being entirely sure of the protocol.
‘ Nos morituri te salutamus,’ he suggested; ‘it’s usual.’
And on my looking rather blank, he kindly translated the remark as: ‘We who are about to die salute you.’
‘Yes, but look here,’ I objected, ‘if you’ll only listen to me for a moment, I’m sure you’ll see that neither of us need die at all!’
‘Well, I’m not going to,’ he agreed, ‘but one of us has to, and that leaves you. Otherwise I don’t get my expenses for the journey home.’
This seemed to me a pretty feeble motive for murder, and I said so; but there was obviously no reasoning with a man like that, who fancied, moreover, that he had some sort of grudge against me.
So we delivered the ‘ morituri’ line more or less in unison
- and I must say it was very well received, considering they must all have heard it often enough before - and I was wondering what to do next, when Nero bellowed pettishly,
‘All right, all right, get on with it then!’
Actually, I don’t think Delos can have heard him, because he went on acknowledging the applause, but I decided to take it as my cue for action. Because, look here, I wouldn’t normally wish to take an unfair advantage, but I inspected my bruised lingers, and thought, ‘Well, if that’s the way he wants it, he can have it!’; and approaching him from the rear I threw my net completely over his enormous bulk, effectively entangling his ankles, and bringing him to the sawdust with an earth-shattering crash, and a rather vulgar oath.
Mind you, this didn’t go down at all well with the crowd, which booed offensively; but I ask you to remember, Headmaster, that I could, had I so chosen, have used my javelin