Doctor Who_ The Room With No Doors - Kate Orman [60]
Besides, he still scared the life out of her.
She swallowed her disappointment as she rounded a bend in the road, and saw the two samurai waiting for her, their hands on their sword hilts.
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The writing on the walls
The Doctor had ordered tea for them. Te Yene Rana watched in astonishment as one of the innkeeper’s children delivered the tray. The Doctor returned the child’s frantic bows and sent it on its way, sliding the door shut.
‘What was it you wanted to talk about?’ he said, pouring a cup of the pale, alien fluid.
It was no damned use. Te Yene Rana sat on the floor in front of him, aghast.
Her extensive training in interrogation suddenly seemed to have a large damned gap in it. She had been taught how to deal with all of the subjects’
possible responses – confessions, lies, pleas, even madness. She had emphati-cally not been trained to deal with a subject who took the piss. Thanks.
‘Let me guess,’ said the Doctor. He raised his tea cup in both hands, and inhaled deeply, smiling at the scent. ‘You’re interested in a certain object which, shall we say, made a crash landing in this area.’
‘You know where it is?’
‘You know what it is?’
Te Yene Rana scowled and fell silent. The Doctor said, ‘We call it. . . the pod.’ He took a mouthful of tea and smiled blissfully.
‘It’s a consignment of goods,’ she said, grudgingly.
‘What sort of goods?’
‘If you must know,’ said the Caxtarid, ‘it’s a smuggled shipment of Oolian knickers.’
‘Don’t the Oolians have enough underwear of their own?’ said the Doctor.
‘It’s not for the Oolians,’ said Te Yene Rana. ‘I just want my goods back – they were accidentally jettisoned during an act of piracy by a Kapteynian vessel.’
‘Ah,’ said the Doctor. ‘They tried to nick your knickers.’ He poured another cup of tea. ‘All this overkill about underpants? I don’t think so. Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on? I might be able to help.’
‘All right.’ Te Yene Rana let him hand her a cup of tea. ‘The truth is, it’s a survey satellite. Natural Resources Admin have been considering whether to 123
mine this planet. We needed to take a census of the planet’s inhabitants, in order to develop a least-disturbance model for the project.’
‘And the Kapteynians?’
‘Rival miners,’ said Te Yene Rana. The tea had a strange watery flavour, like flowers. ‘They sabotaged our satellite. Without that survey, we can’t get permission to touch so much as a pebble.’
‘Hmm,’ said the Doctor. ‘I think I preferred your first story.’
‘What?’
‘In this time period, the Kapteynians aren’t your economic rivals: they’re your slaves. For another thing, when did the Caxtarids turn green? Your corporations have stripmined a dozen inhabited worlds.’
‘Green?’
‘Never mind. Suffice it to say that unless your planet has changed its com-mercial laws very suddenly, the underwear was a lot more believable.’
Te Yene Rana put down her cup. ‘Damn you,’ she said. ‘Who are you? Tell me. I’ll reciprocate with the truth. You have my word.’
‘Right. I’m the President of the Intergalactic Flora Society.’
‘Thanks. That’s very helpful. The thing is a vital component of my ship. The Kapteynians sabotaged it. My ship’s in orbit – I can’t leave until I repair it.’
‘You know,’ said the Doctor, ‘I can keep this up all night.’
‘Gonads!’ said Te Yene Rana. She looked around for something to throw at him. ‘Why isn’t there any damned furniture!’
He just managed to dodge the teapot as he lunged for the window.
Penelope was continually amazed not to be dead.
When she had seen the samurai waiting for her in the road, she had resigned herself – to capture at best, slaughter at worst, or the large number of alarming possibilities in between.
But one of them had said, ‘ O-jochu, it is not safe for an unaccompanied woman to ride through this forest. There are brigands and rude peasants at every turn. Allow us to accompany you to the castle of our lord, Gufuu Kocho, who offers his protection.’
It wasn’t an invitation. Scowling inside her hood, Penelope let them