Doctor Who_ The Room With No Doors - Kate Orman [72]
‘Penelope!’ said a voice. It was Mr Cwej. Talker spun around and nearly shot him.
Mr Cwej put his hands in the air. Talker was twice her normal size, feathers puffed up like the fur of an angry cat. ‘OK, hairy, where’s the pod?’
‘Safely inside the monastery,’ he said.
‘Sure, sure. How’d you get it up there?’
‘The secret entrance, of course,’ said Penelope. ‘I am right, am I not?’
‘Erm,’ said Mr Cwej, trying to feign ignorance.
‘I knew it,’ said Penelope. ‘Gufuu-sama said to be on the lookout for it.’
‘You’re working for Gufuu?’ said Mr Cwej. ‘When did that happen? I thought you were the one who didn’t want to get involved!’
‘Mr Mintz presented me with some convincing arguments,’ said Penelope, suddenly uncomfortable.
‘ Joel is working for Gufuu?’ Mr Cwej looked so outraged it was almost comical.
‘Yes, he is. We are trying to make the best of a desperate situation.’
‘You don’t need to do this. If you just want to go home, the Doctor –’
‘I do not want to go home,’ thundered Penelope, surprising herself. ‘And I see no reason why I should trust the Doctor rather than this daimyo. At least the warlord’s motives are clear.’
‘The Doctor’s just trying to stop people getting caught In the crossfire.’ Mr Cwej scowled. ‘And now you’re working for one of the people doing the shooting!’ He looked at Talker. ‘Can I put my hands down, please?’
‘OK,’ said the bird, ‘but I’ll southern-fry you if you try anything.’
‘Look, Miss Gate,’ said Mr Cwej. ‘All we want to do is find out what the pod is, and stop it falling into the wrong hands.’
144
‘Who are you to say Gufuu-sama’s hands are any more wrong than Umemi-sama’s?’
‘What? Neither of them should get the pod. As long as it’s still around and people think it could help their war effort, they’ll fight over it. We have to find out what it is, and get it to safety, or destroy it. No more pod, no more fighting.’
Talker’s feathers had puffed up again. ‘That pod belongs to us,’ she said.
‘You give it back to us, and we’ll take it offworld.’
‘Can’t,’ said Mr Cwej. ‘Not until you tell me what it is.’
‘ Who’s got the gun?’ said Talker, waving the weapon. ‘Anyway, you don’t need to know what it is. You just want to make sure the humans don’t get it or fight over it. We’ll collect it, we’ll just leave. Sound fair?’
‘Look,’ said Mr Cwej, ‘the thing is obviously some kind of weird weapon.
How do I know you won’t grab it and take over the Earth?’
‘External genitalia to this,’ said Talker. Penelope felt herself blush. ‘I’m gonna bonk you over the head and leave you halfway up a tree. Then I’m going to fly up to the monastery and. . . ’
‘And what?’ said Mr Cwej.
‘I just had a thought,’ said Talker. ‘To, awk, do what I need to do with the pod, I need someone who’s dead. Technician ate a worm he shouldn’t have the first night we arrived here.’
‘Don’t look at me,’ said Mr Cwej. ‘I’m just a pilot.’
‘The Doctor,’ said Penelope. ‘He’s from a technologically advanced future.
Might he have the skills you need?’
‘It’s a thought,’ said Talker. ‘Let’s get him.’
Mr Cwej shook his head. ‘We were separated when Toshi caught fire. I don’t know where he is now.’
Talker squawked. ‘You’re a bunch of no help.’
Te Yene Rana was saying, ‘These daimyo have the right idea. You’ve got to keep the damned little people little, you know? Tax them till the pips squeak, keep them out of any decisionmaking processes, burn down their houses from time to time. When they complain about it, kill them off in large numbers.’
She gripped the reins, guiding her beast of burden around a tree. Umemi-sama’s army was riding slowly and surely across a broad plain. In the distance, the mountains rose up.
About a dozen of her probes were skimming along behind her. The rest, deactivated in her room at the inn, had gone up in smoke with Toshi town.
‘Peasants are cheap and plentiful,’ she continued. ‘If they make poor workers, at least they make good fertilizer. They’re a faceless, homogeneous mass, easily controlled. It’s only the exceptional