Doctor Who_ The Sleep of Reason - Martin Day [31]
I stood up and went to the window. I gazed out at the stars. Clouds scurried across the velvet sky, and the village was bathed in the pooled glow of the gaslights. ‘I feel that the Devil is sat under Mausolus House, waiting,’ I admitted.
‘For what?’
‘I do not know. I am convicted that what is coming shows my fear of midnight mass to be as but a grain of sand on the shore in comparison. Perhaps I am getting old, letting my heart rule my head.’
‘I do not know how much credence to give it,’ said Torby, ‘but one of the fellows – Haward is his name – has had. . . Well, I can only describe it as a vision. A dark vision of shadows and death and evil. Christie told me of it.’
‘Do not dismiss such things over-hastily,’ I said. ‘The demon-possessed and the mad recognised our Lord for who He is much more swiftly than those whose vision had been clouded and dulled by the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches. You remember the parable of the sower?’
Torby nodded. ‘The Gospel of Matthew, chapter thirteen.’
I smiled. ‘Would that my curate was as well versed in the scriptures!’ I do Gore a disservice; he is diligent, but lacking in passion. I hope the Lord, and Mr Torby, can forgive the foolish irritation of an old man’s loose tongue. ‘Now, Charles, it is at such times that it is vitally important that you remember who you are, in whom is your salvation. . . The nature of the Rock on which you stand. I do believe that our Lord warns his people – and it is the same Lord who empowers them, eventually, to succeed.’
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Torby stared at me, fascinated, as if he had never heard me talk on the subject before.
‘Sometimes that success, that triumph, is indivisible from death,’ I continued. ‘I think, of course, of the sacrifice of our Lord, of the spilt blood of the martyrs, the missionaries facing unspeakable opposition on the fringes of the Empire. We need not fear death itself, only those who would have us doubt our faith and take away all that is dear and precious to us. If I am right – and I do not even pretend to be infallible – then we must prepare for an attack of the Devil. We must, over the coming days, fearlessly cling to what we know –
not what we think we know, or what the situation would seem to tell us. God is love, but sometimes love is punishment – cling to that, cling to God, even if all hope has gone – in Him alone is our hope.’
I wondered in that moment if I had embarrassed myself. I apologised. ‘My gift for melodrama does not abate as the years pass.’
‘I cannot imagine anyone less given to melodrama than you,’ said Torby.
Good, kind, positive Torby. ‘But. . . you meant what you said?’
‘Of course – but let us pray that I am wrong.’ I clasped my hands together, and closed my eyes. I wondered about praying even then – but instead I was searching my own mind, my own motivations.
My memories of that accursed dream, when Death itself fell like a shroud on Mausolus House. And spiders and dogs ran through empty corridors.
I opened my eyes again. ‘What we must do now, is to celebrate the human birth of our Lord. We must celebrate, in our hearts, like never before. The Lord has declared tonight sacred. Let us prepare for His refining fire as if none of this happened.’
I could not help but put an arm around Torby’s shoulders.
‘Another drink, Charles?’
Extract from the Diary of Dr Thomas Christie Thursday 24th December 1903 (continued)
When one is busy one is most likely to forget the least of our fellows, those that most completely rely on us.
I am thinking, of course, of my patients in the main, but also my beloved hounds. When I came to them this evening my precious wolfhounds looked up the moment I opened the door. As one they stretched languidly, then bounded towards me with increasing enthusiasm – each one with an accusing gaze, not unsympathetic yet still. . . disappointed.
I patted each muscular flank in turn, attaching leashes to cracked leather collars. ‘Have I been neglecting you all?’ I queried, as if they could answer me in any human tongue (ah, Mr Ruskin’s pathetic fallacy!).