Doctor Who_ Transit - Ben Aaronovitch [113]
The changes were sudden and impressive.
The King's Buffer
His Majesty the Emperor of Subsystems was watching the logic problems play around his feet. The Doctor was particularly pleased with the King's feet, it demonstrated that his frame of reference was again working properly. Within it the King appeared as a large man with a prominent stomach and a florid face. He was wearing a brocade jacket of deep burgundy silk with gold lace trimming, and sat on a throne of quartz.
The logic problems resolved as a trio of miniature poodles that chased their tails and yapped incessantly. The Minister for Primary Colours had become a tall sparse man with aesthetic features. The fearsome Reds became halberd-carrying foot soldiers with faces the same colour as their scarlet tunics. The lack of differentiation between skin and livery in the Reds implied a certain simplicity of function.
The Doctor was concerned by the possibility that his anthropomorphism of King and Court could have all the validity of a Disney cartoon.
Who knew what he looked like to them?
The King had bleary eyes that hinted at overindulgence. What did that signify? Some form of internal degeneration? What did a software program overindulge in? Dangerous thinking, decided the Doctor. These were not just programs, they were intelligences in their own right. Better to accept the frame of reference and deal with them as people.
After all, he was supposed to be good at that.
The Minister for Primary Colours motioned for the Doctor to stay back and approached the throne. He leant over and whispered in the King's ear. The Monarch's bleary eyes fixed briefly on the Doctor. When the Minister finished the King waved a hand and the logic problems evaporated.
'You are the virus killer labelled the Doctor?' asked the King
'That is how I am labelled,' said the Doctor. 'But I have many other functions.'
'There is much redundant code there,' said the Minister.
'A wise program devises architectural sub-structures for all eventualities,' said the King.
'Indubitably, Your Majesty,' said the Doctor, wishing he could do something about the language. 'Be prepared, that's my motto.'
'Proceeding to the matter of your visit,' said the King.
'Your Majesty is too kind,' said the Doctor.
'Yes,' said the Minister for Primary Colours, 'he is.'
'I believe you are in dispute with the utility labelled Fred,' said the King, 'that he is in possession of another utility that you claim as a vital operating subset of yours.'
'Captured in the southern expedition. Your Majesty,' said the Minister.
'Not a subset of mine. Your Majesty,' said the Doctor. 'A subset of the operating system itself.'
'Have you no redundancy?' asked the King.
'Billions,' said the Doctor. 'But this subsystem is of special importance to me.'
The Minister glanced suspiciously at the Doctor. 'Billions?' he asked. 'The new kingdoms are that powerful?'
'They are different, vast and complex,' said the Doctor.
'The utility Fred reported nothing of this,' said the King.
'The utility Fred is frequently obtuse,' said the Minister.
'This is an issue that must be decided in open court,' said the King. 'Download the Ministers for Strange Logic and for Rare Data, and the Minister for Probabilities.'
'At once. Your Majesty,' said the Minister for Primary Colours.
'What of the Minister for Irritating Oxymorons?' asked the Doctor with a reasonably straight face.
'The Minister for Irritating Oxymorons,' said the Minister for Primary Colours, 'does not attend open sessions of the court.'
'Of course he doesn't,' said the Doctor. 'Silly me.'
'With Your Majesty's permission,' said the Minister for Primary Colours, 'I will withdraw and see to the southern defences.'
The King nodded his permission. The Minister seemed to elongate across the node to become a stream of colours pouring out through one of the roundels. The Doctor thought he heard a voice say 'Billions'.
The other ministers flowed similarly into the node. Rare Data resolved