Doctor Zhivago - Boris Pasternak [226]
“I’m obsessed by the question of mimicry, the external adaptation of organisms to the color of their environment. Here, hidden in this adjustment of color, is the astonishing transition from the internal to the external.
“I ventured to touch on it in my lectures. And off it went! ‘Idealism, mysticism! Goethe’s Naturphilosophie, neo-Schellingism!’6
“I’ve got to quit. I’ll turn in my resignation from the health commission and the institute, and try to hang on at the hospital until they throw me out. I don’t want to frighten you, but at times I have the feeling that I’ll be arrested one of these days.”
“God forbid, Yurochka. Fortunately, we’re still far from that. But you’re right. It won’t hurt to be more careful. As far as I’ve noticed, each time this young power installs itself, it goes through several stages. In the beginning it’s the triumph of reason, the critical spirit, the struggle against prejudices.
“Then comes the second period. The dark forces of the ‘hangers-on,’ the sham sympathizers, gain the majority. Suspiciousness springs up, denunciations, intrigues, hatred. And you’re right, we’re at the beginning of the second phase.
“No need to look far for an example. Two former political prisoners from the workers have been transferred from Khodatskoe to the board of the revolutionary tribunal here, a certain Tiverzin and Antipov.
“They both know me perfectly well, and one simply happens to be my father-in-law, my husband’s father. But in fact it’s only quite recently, since their transfer here, that I’ve begun to tremble for my and Katenka’s lives. Anything can be expected of them. Antipov has no great liking for me. They’re quite capable of destroying me and even Pasha one fine day in the name of higher revolutionary justice.”
The sequel to this conversation took place quite soon. By that time a night search had been carried out at 48 Malaya Buyanovka, next to the dispensary at the widow Goregliadova’s. In the house they found a cache of arms and uncovered a counterrevolutionary organization. Many people in town were arrested; the searches and arrests were still going on. In connection with this, it was whispered that some of the suspects had escaped across the river. Considerations were expressed, such as: “What good will it do them? There are rivers and rivers. There are, it must be said, certain rivers. In Blagoveshchensk-on-Amur, for instance, on one bank there’s Soviet power, and on the other—China. You jump into the water, swim across, and adyoo, it’s the last they see of you. That, you might say, is a river. A totally different story.”
“The atmosphere is thickening,” said Lara. “For us the safe time is past. We’ll undoubtedly be arrested, you and I. What will happen to Katenka then? I’m a mother. I must forestall misfortune and think up something. I must have a decision ready on that account. I lose my reason when I think of it.”
“Let’s consider. What will help here? Are we able to prevent this blow? After all, it’s a matter of fate.”
“There’s nowhere and no chance for escape. But we can withdraw somewhere into the shadows, into the background. For instance, go to Varykino. I keep thinking about the house in Varykino. It’s pretty far away, and everything’s abandoned there. But there we wouldn’t be in full view of everyone, as we are here. Winter’s coming. I’ll take on the work of wintering there. We’d gain a year of life before they get us, and that’s something. Samdevyatov would help me keep a connection with town. Maybe he’d agree to hide us. Eh? What do you say? True, there isn’t a soul there now, it’s eerie, deserted. At least it was in March when I went there. And they say there are wolves. Frightening. But people, especially people like Antipov or Tiverzin, are more frightening now than wolves.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. You yourself keep sending me to