Don Quixote_ Translation by Edith Grossman (HarperCollins) - Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra [407]
“Señor,” responded Sancho, “can’t I have two days to think about what I should do?”
“No, absolutely not,” said Merlin. “Here, in this instant and in this place, the matter must be settled: either Dulcinea will return to the Cave of Montesinos and to her earlier condition as a peasant, or now, in her present state, she will be transported to the Elysian Fields, where she will wait until the number of lashes is completed.”
“Come now, my good Sancho,” said the duchess, “take heart and be grateful to Don Quixote for the bread you have eaten; we all must serve and please him for his virtuous nature and his high acts of chivalry. Say yes, my friend, to this flogging, and let the devil go to the devil and fear to the coward, for a brave heart breaks bad luck, as you know very well.”
To this Sancho responded with some foolishness, and speaking to Merlin, he asked:
“Tell me, your grace, Señor Merlin: the devil courier came here and gave my master a message from Señor Montesinos, telling him to wait here because he was going to give him instructions on how to disenchant Señora Doña Dulcinea of Toboso, and so far we haven’t seen Montesinos or anybody like him.”
To which Merlin responded:
“The devil, Sancho my friend, is ignorant and a great scoundrel: I sent him to look for your master, with a message not from Montesinos but from me, because Montesinos is in his cave, thinking about or, I should say, hoping for his disenchantment, because he still has a long way to go. If he owes you something, or if you have any business to do with him, I’ll bring him to you, to whatever place you like. For now, just say yes to this whipping, and believe me when I say that it will be of benefit to your soul and your body: your soul, because of the charity you bring to it, and your body, because I know you have a sanguine temperament, and it won’t do you much harm to lose a little blood.”
“What a lot of doctors there are in the world: even enchanters are doctors,” replied Sancho. “Well, since everybody’s telling me to do it, though I can’t see it, I say that I’ll be happy to give myself three thousand and three hundred lashes on the condition that I can give them whenever I like, without anybody trying to set the number of days or length of time; and I’ll try to wipe out the debt as fast as I can so the world can enjoy the beauty of Señora Doña Dulcinea of Toboso, because though I didn’t think so before, it seems she really is beautiful. Another condition has to be that I’m not obliged to draw blood with the whipping, and if some lashes are like the flick of an animal’s tail brushing away flies, they still have to be counted. Also, if I make a mistake in the number, Señor Merlin, since he knows everything, has to be responsible for keeping count and letting me know if I have too few or too many.”
“No one has to let you know if you have too many,” responded Merlin, “because when you reach the correct number, Señora Dulcinea will suddenly be disenchanted and will come, gratefully, to her good Sancho to thank him and even reward him for his good deed. So there is no reason to have any doubt about too many or too few, and heaven forbid that I deceive anybody, even by so much as a hair.”
“Well, well, then it’s in God’s hands,” said Sancho. “I consent to my bad fortune; I say that I accept the penance, with the conditions that have been stated.”
As soon as Sancho said these words, the music of the flageolets began to sound again, and an infinite number of harquebuses were fired, and Don Quixote threw his arms around Sancho’s neck and gave him a thousand kisses on his forehead and cheeks. The duchess and the duke and all those