Don Quixote_ Translation by Edith Grossman (HarperCollins) - Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra [442]
“So that means that the dish of roasted partridges over there, nicely seasoned, it seems to me, won’t do me any harm.”
To which the physician responded:
“The governor will not eat them as long as I am alive.”
“But why?” said Sancho.
And the physician responded:
“Because our master Hippocrates, the polestar and light of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms: Omnis saturatio mala, perdicis autem pessima. Which means: ‘A full stomach is bad, but a stomach full of partridges is very bad.’”2
“If that’s true,” said Sancho, “then see, Señor Doctor, which of the dishes on this table will do me the most good and which the least harm, and let me eat it without you tapping it, because by my life as a governor, and may God allow me to enjoy it, I am dying of hunger, and denying me food, no matter what you tell me, Señor Doctor, means taking my life instead of lengthening it.”
“Your grace is correct, Señor Governor,” responded the physician, “and so, it is my opinion that your grace should not eat the rabbit stew over there because that is a long-haired animal. You could have tasted the veal, if it hadn’t been roasted and marinated, but it’s out of the question now.”
And Sancho said:
“That big bowl steaming over there looks to me like olla podrida,3 and because those stews have so many different kinds of things in them, I can’t help but come across something that I’ll like and that will be good for me.”
“Absit!” 4 said the physician. “May so wicked a thought be far from us: there is nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida. Let ollas podridas be for canons or rectors of colleges or peasant weddings, and keep them away from the tables of governors, where all things exquisite and elegant should be present; the reason is that simple medicines are always more highly esteemed than compound ones, everywhere and by everyone, because there can be no error in simple medicines, but there can be in compound ones, simply by changing the amounts of the things of which they are compounded; but I know that what the governor must eat now in order to preserve and fortify his health is a hundred rolled wafers and some very thin slices of quince, which will settle his stomach and help his digestion.”
Hearing this, Sancho leaned back in his chair and stared fixedly at the physician and in a solemn voice asked him what his name was and where he had studied. To which he responded:
“My name, Señor Governor, is Dr. Pedro Recio de Agüero, and I am a native of a town called Tirteafuera, which is between Caracuel and Almodóvar del Campo, on the right-hand side, and I hold the degree of doctor from the University of Osuna.”5
To which Sancho, in a rage, responded:
“Well, Señor Doctor Pedro Recio de Mal Agüero,6 native of Tirteafuera, a village that’s on the right as we go from Caracuel to Almodóvar del Campo, graduated from Osuna, get out of my sight, and if you don’t, I swear by the sun that I’ll take a cudgel, and starting with you, I’ll beat all the doctors so hard there won’t be a single one left anywhere on the ínsula, at least the ones I know to be ignorant, because wise, prudent, and intelligent doctors I’ll respect and honor as if they were divine. And again I say that you should leave here, Pedro Recio, otherwise I’ll take this chair that I’m sitting on and smash it over your head, and they can bring charges against me and I’ll clear myself by saying that I did a service for God when I killed a bad doctor, who’s the same as an executioner. Now, all of you, give me something to eat, otherwise take your governorship back, because an office that doesn’t give a man food to eat isn’t worth two beans.”
The physician became very agitated when he saw the governor so enraged, and he wanted to do a tirteafuera from the hall, but at that moment a post horn sounded in the street, and the butler went to look out the window and then returned, saying:
“A courier has come from my