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Don't Know Much About the Bible - Kenneth C. Davis [65]

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’ sister, who had saved his life as a child and then helped Moses lead the people out of Egypt, and Aaron carp about their baby brother. Why is Moses so special? They consider themselves to be prophets and leaders of the people too. Why does Moses get all the attention from God? It’s sibling rivalry gone cosmic. On top of that, they don’t like Moses’ wife, who is a “Cushite.” This complaint is a little confusing and has led to some speculation—did Moses have a second wife? Zipporah was Midian, not a Cushite. Also, “Cushite” has been interpreted as “African,” although Cush might be another word for Midian. Was Zipporah black? Was there a second wife? The Bible doesn’t really say.

Annoyed at Aaron and Miriam’s quibbles, God lashes out at the two renegade siblings. Miriam is afflicted with a skin disorder like leprosy and becomes “white as snow.” Moses asks God to forgive her, and Big Sister is sent out of the camp for seven days until she is healed and “purified,” or made ritually clean. Aaron, on the other hand, seems to get off easily, just as he did after making the golden calf. Most likely, the priestly writers saw themselves as, or actually were, descendants of Aaron and gave him good press. In other words, it’s a little like reading a Republican party biography of Richard M. Nixon that glosses over Watergate and his resigning in disgrace.

BIBLICAL VOICES

The Lord said to Moses, “Because you did not trust in me, to show my holiness before the eyes of the Israelites, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” (Num. 20:12)

Why can’t Moses enter the Promised Land?

When God gets annoyed, look out. Even Moses gets in trouble. The reason for God’s anger at Moses is not entirely laid out, although most interpreters believe that Moses and Aaron either took too much of the credit for a miracle when Moses struck a rock and water flowed out, or they didn’t do it the way God told them to do it. Aaron, whose death on Mount Hor, near Kadesh, is recorded in Numbers, and Moses both die without entering the Promised land.

But God doesn’t let up with just the two of them. Fed up with the constant grumbling and grousing of the Israelites, God later tells Moses, “Not one of these—not one of this evil generation—shall see the good land that I swore to give to your ancestors.” (Deut. 1:35)

With the exception of Joshua and Caleb, none of those who left Egypt in the Exodus will enter the Promised Land.

What did the speaking donkey have to say?

“A horse is a horse of course of course/Unless, of course, he’s a talking horse.” So goes the theme song to one of American television’s landmark comedies, Mister Ed.

A talking donkey is a different matter. Especially when it talks in the Bible. The biblical version of Mister Ed appears in a curious story of a magician named Balaam, who is asked to put a curse on the tribes of Israel. Having left Kadesh, the Israelites must pass through the territory of several tribes, including Edom—the descendants of Esau—and Moab, where the descendants of one of Lot’s daughters live. Threatened by the Israelites, the king of Moab asks a powerful magician to come to Moab and curse the Israelites. Balaam, this Mesopotamian wizard, saddles up his donkey and goes off to help King Balak.

The account gets a little confused as it proceeds because God is angry that Balaam seems to be doing exactly what he was told to do by God. Then Balaam’s donkey takes center stage. As Balaam is riding down the road, the donkey sees an angel of the Lord in the way and refuses to move. Unable to see the angel, Balaam strikes the donkey three different times in an attempt to get the animal moving. Finally, the donkey turns around and asks the magician, “What have I done to you that you have struck me these three times?”

God finally opens Balaam’s eyes and he sees the angel blocking the road. The heavenly messenger tells the magician to go to the king of Moab and say whatever he is divinely told to say. When the king tells Balaam to curse Israel, the magician blesses Israel instead. Although

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