Don't Start the Revolution Without Me! - Jesse Ventura [109]
When Chris Matthews interviewed me for Hardball that day on the Harvard auditorium’s stage, he said: “I was asked recently if I would do a Playboy interview. Do you recommend that I do that?”
I told Chris, “I’d say do that before you do the foldout.” The eight hundred students in the audience seemed to appreciate that.
Now I was coming back for real. After I landed at the Boston airport, a fellow standing by the baggage carousel recognized me, despite my hair and beard. “Governor, what are you doing out here?” he asked. I said, “Well, I’m going to teach at Harvard.” I’m sure there was more than a hint of pride in my voice.
He said, laughing, “Oh, the People’s Republic of Cambridge! That’s the closest thing to pure socialism that we have in the United States.”
The taxi let me out right by the door to the Kennedy School, where there’s a little plaza. I met the people I’d be working with—marvelous people—and we drove over to the apartment where I’d be living. It was the bare essentials, a little two-bedroom with a living room and kitchen. A long way from the governor’s residence, but I didn’t mind—except the bed was terrible! The first thing Terry did when she came to visit was get one of those inflatable air mattresses to put on top of it. (I have something of a bad back from wrestling, and jumping out of airplanes, and a few other things I did.)
But it was fun, and exciting, to be living on campus. My apartment was over by the business school, a beautiful area overlooking the Charles River. It was wintertime and I had to wear a stocking hat and a heavy overcoat. Every day I’d walk through the business school and cross a bridge over to the Kennedy School, a pretty good hike.
Even though I was all bundled up because of the cold, I was experiencing a sense of personal freedom. No one was recognizing me in that clothing and with the beard. I just blended in. All of a sudden, I could stand on crowded street corners with no security around, and with a feeling I hadn’t had for a long, long time. Not since my early wrestling days had it been like this.
One morning after I first arrived, I was passing by all the red-brick buildings in the business school when I saw—the Mellon Building. I burst out laughing so hard that I fell to my knees. People were looking at me like I was nuts. But didn’t they realize? Thornton Mellon, one of the great movie characters, played by Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School. Remember when he throws the dirt and hits the professor? It was taken right out of Harvard! It was real!
Classes didn’t start right away, so I was still getting acclimated. I was taken to see the statue of John Harvard. It’s all bronze, but mostly oxidized—except for the one shoe that faces forward, which is bright and looks highly polished. I asked why, and they said: “Well, because it’s a myth that, on exam days, you walk by and touch John Harvard’s shoe for good luck.” So its look was just from all those thousands of hands hitting the shoe!
I came to find out that the statue has an interesting history. It’s based upon three lies. First, the guy isn’t really John Harvard. The day they did the statue, he wasn’t available, so they got somebody else to pose. Second, John Harvard didn’t found Harvard. What John Harvard did was contribute his family’s substantial library of books. And third, the John Harvard symbol means honesty. On top of two other fabrications! How about that?
I was given a beautiful little office, in toward the courtyard of the Kennedy School. That’s when I encountered my first obstacle—this massive-looking monster, this alien thing called