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“One would not know it from your actions,” the Vulcan insisted.

The commander’s jaw clenched. “Listen to me, dammit. I’m a Starfleet officer. So’s my wife. And for that matter, so are you.”

He glanced at the door. He had to be mindful of the guards outside it despite the wave of emotion he could feel crashing over him.

“When we accepted our commissions,” Crusher went on, “we accepted everything that goes along with them-the bad as well as the good. As a Starfleet captain said a long time ago, risk is our business.”

There was a flicker of recognition in Tuvok’s eyes. Obviously, he too had heard the reference.

“Now,” said the commander, forcing himself to put the matter in perspective, “I’m not saying you don’t have a point…”

The ensign raised an eyebrow.

“In this particular instance, I mean,” Crusher added quickly. “I maintain that my overall strategy was a good one. After all, it worked on the bartender at The Den, didn’t it? It just didn’t work on Pudris Barrh.”

Tuvok frowned.

“All right,” said the human, “it backfired horribly when I tried it on Pudris Barrh. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop taking chances if I think they’re reasonable. And it doesn’t mean-“

He stopped abruptly and gazed at the Vulcan. Suddenly, he realized what was going on. The revelation chased the heat of indignation out of him and left only compassion in its wake.

“Oh, man,” said Crusher. “I’m sorry. I understand now.”

“Understand what?” asked Tuvok.

“You’re a Starfleet officer,” the commander explained. “You feel that responsibility as intensely as anyone. But you’re also a family man, with a wife and children-and you don’t think you’re going to make it home to them. You think that you’ve somehow let them down.”

The Vulcan didn’t confirm Crusher’s observation. On the other hand, he didn’t deny it.

“And since it’s not appropriate for one of your people to feel guilt, you’re projecting that feeling-that conflict-onto me,” the commander concluded. “You’re accusing me of abandoning my family because you can’t contemplate the idea of accusing yourself.”

Still, Tuvok said nothing. He just stared.

“But there’s no need to beat yourself up about it,” Crusher insisted. “You did what you had to do-just as I did. And we’re both going to have to hope our loved ones understand that.”

For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, the Vulcan looked away. The commander saw that Tuvok needed some time to think. He gave it to him.

Finally, the Vulcan turned back to him and spoke again. “I was… as you humans put it… out of line.”

Crusher didn’t reply right away. He sensed there was something more Tuvok wanted to say.

“It is unsettling indeed,” the ensign continued, “to consider that your interpretation of my actions may be correct in some respects. I cannot deny that there is a conflict within me between my duty to Starfleet and my duty to my family, and it is certainly possible that this conflict has colored my view of the situation.”

It was a truly remarkable admission for a Vulcan. Tuvok might as well have admitted a yen for cotton candy… or the Romulan ale that Crusher had ran afoul of as a cadet.

“However, we should be concentrating our efforts on escape,” the ensign pointed out, no doubt hoping to change the subject. “After all, we do have a mission to complete.”

The commander smiled, though it hurt him to do so. “All right,” he said. “What about that unexpected opportunity you mentioned?”

Chapter Fourteen

Captain’s log, supplemental. Despite the efforts of myself, Commander Ben Zoma and others, including First Minister Culunnh and Governor Thul of the Thallonian Empire, we have failed to hold the peace talks together. The congress on Debennius Six has disbanded, perhaps for good. Also, we are no closer to discerning who is behind the terrorist assaults than we were before. All we know is that they are cold-blooded murderers, acting with a purpose and a plan-as evidenced by the fact that each incident is more brutal