Down Among the Dead Men_ A Year in the Life of a Mortuary Technician - Michelle Williams [25]
Graham also had a habit of sometimes using the wrong words. He would say ‘defiantly’ when he meant ‘definitely’, and ‘poignant’ when he meant ‘pertinent’, both of which I could understand, but not when he swapped ‘skellington’ for ‘skeleton’. Still, it just made him all the more human as far as I was concerned.
He was divorced, and had been for a long time. He told me about the many times he had had to climb out of the window at the nurses’ residence at some silly time in the morning, because the Sister was doing the rounds and he had been spending the evening with whichever nurse he was seeing at the time. It appeared that he had had liaisons with a large number of nurses – certainly lots of them spoke to him when we were out having a cigarette. He came across as a simple man, uncomplicated, who said exactly what he thought and knew what he liked and what he didn’t like, and nothing was ever going to change that. He would have his breakfast at the same time every morning – two rashers of bacon, fried eggs and toast (always the same) – and revelled in talking about what he was having for tea each evening, proud of the fact that he cooked it himself. Every morning Clive and I would have a running commentary on how good it had been and how he had cooked it. I found this both boring and intriguing: boring because I know how to cook, but intriguing because of the passion he displayed when telling me about it and the type of food he ate. No animal organ was safe from the frying pan in Graham’s kitchen. You name it, he had tried it, right down to sheep brains, which are very nice (or so he assured me). He offered to get me some next time he went to see his old mates at the abattoir, but I refused politely.
Graham also told me about his love of shooting, and I tried my best not to look shocked. I don’t think I did this very well, though.
‘I never shoot anything I don’t eat,’ he said quickly when he saw the reaction on my face. ‘Apart from when the farmer asks me to sort out any “mixies” I see when I walk his land; I don’t eat those buggers.’ I knew from this he was talking about rabbits with myxomatosis. ‘I just put the poor bleeders out of their misery; the foxes have those.’
I warmed to Graham; not because I agreed with some of the stuff he enjoyed doing – I didn’t at all – but because he was so straightforward and you knew where you stood with him. He also taught me a lot. Clive was a knowledgeable man, but his patience with me could be pushed sometimes. I am a very inquisitive person and have an annoying tendency to ask ‘Why?’ a lot. I like to have things explained to me, reasons given and what the end result is expected to be. I also like to know why I am asked to do something, but I am quite aware that this can really annoy people; I know this because people like me can annoy me! Graham, though, was always ready and willing to give me an answer or a reason. He was never flustered or agitated, but always gave a reply that was straight to the point, given in the language we both spoke, and without trying to impress or baffle me with long medical words that he knew I wouldn’t understand. We worked well together and appeared to complement each other, and I could see that Graham was like me in that he wanted to get the job done. Whatever task was given to him, he would jump on board.
By Friday I felt as though I was definitely part of the team and had been accepted. We started to relax fully with each other. And I loved the fact that the atmosphere was nothing like I imagined it would be. There was a strong sense of companionship, lots of helping each other out, lunches together in the office, jokes and gossip shared and plenty of laughing and high spirits. Working in a mortuary can be unpleasant; the sights that are brought through the doors are sometimes enough to make you want to turn around, walk out and never return. An attitude of extreme levelheadedness is important, and the attitude that