Dragons of Spring Dawning - Margaret Weis [113]
The calmness that the half-elf had felt in Kalaman was slowly vanishing on this dismal journey. It had been a calmness, he realized now, brought about by activity, the need to make decisions, the comforting thought that he was finally doing something tangible to help Laurana. These thoughts kept him afloat in the dark waters that surrounded him, much as the sea elves had aided him in the Blood Sea of Istar. But now he felt the dark waters begin to close over his head once more.
Tanis’s thoughts were constantly with Laurana. Over and over, he heard Gilthanas’s accusing words—She did this for you! And though Gilthanas had, perhaps, forgiven him, Tanis knew he could never forgive himself. What was happening to Laurana in the Dark Queen’s Temple? Was she still alive? Tanis’s soul shrank from that thought. Of course she was alive! The Dark Queen would not kill her, not as long as she wanted Berem.
Tanis’s eyes focused on the man walking ahead of him, near Caramon. I will do anything to save Laurana, he swore beneath his breath, clenching his fist. Anything! If it means sacrificing myself or …
He stopped. Would he really give up Berem? Would he really trade the Everman to the Dark Queen, perhaps plunge the world into a darkness so vast it would never see light again?
No, Tanis told himself firmly. Laurana would die before she would be part of such a bargain. Then—after he’d walked a few more steps—he’d change his mind. Let the world take care of itself, he thought gloomily. We’re doomed. We can’t win, no matter what happens. Laurana’s life, that’s the only thing that counts … the only thing …
Tanis was not the only gloomy member of the group. Tika walked beside Caramon, her red curls a bright spot of warmth and light in the gray day. But the light was only in the vibrant red of her hair, it had gone out of her eyes. Although Caramon was unfailingly kind to her, he had not held her since that wonderful, brief moment beneath the sea when his love had been hers. This made her angry in the long nights—he had used her, she decided, simply to ease his own pain. She vowed she would leave him when this was over. There was a wealthy young nobleman in Kalaman who had not been able to take his eyes off her.… But those were night thoughts. During the day, when Tika glanced at Caramon, and saw him plodding along next to her, his head bowed, her heart melted. Gently she touched him. Looking up at her quickly, he smiled. Tika sighed. So much for wealthy young noblemen.
Flint stumped along, rarely speaking, never complaining. If Tanis had not been wrapped up in his own inner turmoil, he would have noted this as a bad sign.
As for Berem—no one knew what he was thinking, if anything. He seemed to grow more nervous and wary the farther they traveled. The blue eyes that were too young for his face darted here and there like those of a trapped animal.
It was on the second day in the mountains that Berem vanished.
Everyone had been more cheerful in the morning, when Fizban announced that they should arrive in Godshome soon. But gloom quickly followed. The rain grew heavier. Three times in one hour the old mage led them plunging through the brush with excited cries of “This is it! Here we are!” only to find themselves in a swamp, a gorge, and—finally—staring at a rock wall.
It was this last time, the dead end, that Tanis felt his soul start to rip from his body. Even Tasslehoff fell back in alarm at the sight of the half-elf’s rage-distorted face. Desperately Tanis fought to hold himself together, and it was then he noticed.
“Where’s Berem?” he asked, a sudden chill freezing his anger.
Caramon blinked, seemingly coming back from some distant world. The big warrior looked around hastily, then turned to face Tanis, his face flushed with shame. “I—I dunno, Tanis. I—I thought he was next to me.”
“He’s our only way into Neraka,” the half-elf said through clenched teeth, “and he’s the only reason they’re keeping Laurana alive. If they catch him—”
Tanis stopped,