Dragons of Winter Night - Margaret Weis [114]
“Where?” The old man whirled around. Raising his staff, he peered fearfully into the darkness. Then something seemed to occur to him. Turning back around, he asked Tas in a loud whisper, “I say, are you sure you saw this Fizban? Isn’t he dead?”
“I know I thought so …” Tas said miserably.
“Then he shouldn’t be wandering around, scaring people!” the old man declared angrily. “I’ll have a talk with him. Hey, you!” he began to shout.
Tas reached out a trembling hand and tugged at the old man’s robe. “I—I’m not sure, b-but I think you’re Fizban.”
“No, really?” the old man said, taken aback. “I was feeling a bit under the weather this morning, but I had no idea it was as bad as all that.” His shoulders sagged. “So I’m dead. Done for. Bought the farm. Kicked the bucket.” He staggered to a bench and plopped down. “Was it a nice funeral?” he asked. “Did lots of people come? Was there a twenty-one gun salute? I always wanted a twenty-one gun salute.”
“I—uh,” Tas stammered, wondering what a gun was. “Well, it was … more of a … memorial service you might say. You see, we—uh—couldn’t find your—how shall I put this?”
“Remains?” the old man said helpfully.
“Uh … remains.” Tas flushed. “We looked, but there were all these chicken feathers … and a dark elf … and Tanis said we were lucky to have escaped alive.…”
“Chicken feathers!” said the old man indignantly. “What have chicken feathers got to do with my funeral?”
“We—uh—you and me and Sestun. Do you remember Sestun, the gully dwarf? Well, there was that great, huge chain in Pax Tharkas. And that big red dragon. We were hanging onto the chain and the dragon breathed fire on it and the chain broke and we were falling”—Tas was warming up to his story; it had become one of his favorites—“and I knew it was all over. We were going to die. There must have been a seventy-foot drop” (this increased every time Tas told the tale) “and you were beneath me and I heard you chanting a spell—”
“Yes, I’m quite a good magician, you know.”
“Uh, right,” Tas stammered, then continued hurriedly. “You chanted this spell, Featherfall or something like that. Anyway, you only said the first word, ‘feather’ and suddenly”—the kender spread his hands, a look of awe on his face as he remembered what happened then—“there were millions and millions and millions of chicken feathers.…”
“So what happened next?” the old man demanded, poking Tas.
“Oh, uh, that’s where it gets a bit—uh—muddled,” Tas said. “I heard a scream and a thump. Well, it was more like a splatter actually, and I f-f-figured the splatter was you.”
“Me?” the old man shouted. “Splatter!” He glared at the kender furiously. “I never in my life splattered!”
“Then Sestun and I tumbled down into the chicken feathers, along with the chain. I looked—I really did.” Tas’s eyes filled with tears as he remembered his heartbroken search for the old man’s body. “But there were too many feathers … and there was this terrible commotion outside where the dragons were fighting. Sestun and I made it to the door, and then we found Tanis, and I wanted to go back to look for you some more, but Tanis said no …”
“So you left me buried under a mound of chicken feathers?”
“It was an awfully nice memorial service,” Tas faltered. “Goldmoon spoke, and Elistan. You didn’t meet Elistan, but you remember Goldmoon, don’t you? And Tanis?”
“Goldmoon …” the old man murmured. “Ah, yes. Pretty girl. Big, stern-looking chap in love with her.”
“Riverwind!” said Tas in excitement. “And Raistlin?”
“Skinny fellow. Damn good magician,” the old man said solemnly, “but he’ll never amount to anything if he doesn’t do something about that cough.”
“You are Fizban!” Tas said. Jumping up gleefully, he threw his arms around the old man and hugged him tight.
“There, there,” Fizban said, embarrassed, patting Tas on the back. “That’s quite enough. You’ll crumple my robes. Don’t sniffle. Can’t abide it. Need a hankie?”
“No, I’ve got one—”
“Now, that’s better. Oh, I say, I believe that handkerchief’s mine. Those are my initials,”
“Is it? You must have dropped it.”
“I remember you now!