Drink Deep - Chloe Neill [115]
“Black magic isn’t what we thought it was,” she said.
“There’s not an excuse in the world you can make to me right now.”
“It’s unfair!” she screamed into the night. “Do you think it’s right that there’s this entire body of magic that I’m not supposed to use? That I’m not supposed to access? Do you know how that feels? Wrong, Merit! It feels wrong to funnel magic that’s only half right. That’s only half made. Good and evil should be together. And if this is a way to do it, then by God it’s what I’ll do. I cannot live like this.”
“You very well can fucking live like this, just like every other sorcerer in history. You do not come into my House and steal a book of evil, and then steal the ashes of my Master and try to turn him into your servant!”
“But it would bring him back to you.”
I stopped cold, biting my lip to stop tears from falling. “I don’t want him back. Not like that. It will not be him. And not if I have to lose you to it, Mallory. You are my sister in every way that counts.”
She made a snort. “You traded me in for him, and you know it.”
“Not any more than you traded me in for Catcher.” I softened my voice. “Neither one of us traded the other in. We grew up, and we grew to love others. But I don’t want him, not like that. And he wouldn’t want it, either.” I watched her for a moment, truly wondering if that was the reason why she’d done the things she had. As much as I loved her, I wasn’t sure.
“You didn’t do this for me,” I said.
“Bullshit,” she threw out, but the word lacked force. Ethan was a pawn in the game, an excuse for her to dabble in black magic. Maybe Simon was stupid enough, naïve enough, that he honestly didn’t know what she’d been doing. Maybe he hadn’t known he’d poisoned his star pupil on black magic, and like a junkie needing a hit, she’d do anything to get a little more, the consequences be damned.
“You did this for you.” I recalled what she’d said about black magic, about people misunderstanding it. “You tasted black magic and you liked it. Not at first, maybe, but eventually you decided that you liked it. Ethan might have been a handy side benefit, but he’s an excuse. Your excuse for tearing the city apart.”
“What would you know about it? About the forces inside me? I know the origin stories. Magic separated—good from evil—like twins forced apart.” She yanked at her T-shirt. “I can feel them, Merit, and they need to be back together.”
She closed her eyes and raised her hands, and magic began to flow in a great circle around us. I could feel it spinning at my back like a centrifuge, the motion pulling me back against it.
“Mallory, stop whatever you’re doing. You are killing Chicago.”
“The harm is temporary,” she said.
Watching her there, perform magic that felt greasy, uncomfortable, evil, I knew the repercussions would be anything but temporary.
“This will fix things,” she said.
“This will destroy things,” I corrected.
But as the magic surrounded us in a tighter and tighter spiral—the centrifugal force pushing the air from my lungs—she shook her head.
“I am tired of worrying about what everyone else wants. You. Catcher. Simon. I was not responsible for the separation of good and evil. But I will be responsible for closing the loop. Stop being so goddamned shortsighted.”
I tried my final strategy. “Mallory, I’ve been dreaming about Ethan. You’ve been hurting him. And if you finish this spell, if you set the city on fire, it will be me and the rest of the Houses that pay for it.”
She smiled a little sadly. “Honey, by then, I’ll be long gone.”
She lifted her arms, and the magic squeezed into a knot. My vision dimmed at the edges, and then went dark completely.
For the second time in a year, my best friend in the world knocked me out cold.
I sat up just in time to see Jonah running toward me. I rubbed the back of my head, sore from where I’d fallen to the ground, but relieved that I’d been out only long enough for him to get here.
That meant I might