Dublin Noir - Ken Bruen [61]
The rest of us glanced around nervously. Deborah was obviously pissed out of her tree, but this was a bit much.
“Well? Who’s going to go first?”
Adele sat up in her chair. “Oh, all right. I shagged two blokes at the same time in uni.”
Laura cackled. “How was it?”
Adele downed her drink. “Bloody painful!”
Everybody laughed, and the tension lifted.
Laura then proudly confessed to skimming a few thousand quid from her boss over the last couple of years. “But you’ve met him,” pointing to Hannah and Carol, “so you see why. He’s a complete tosser.”
They nodded, and Laura drank up.
Carol’s confession was hardly anything, just some bit about shoplifting. The only surprise was where and how much.
“Harrods? A five-thousand-pound sweater?” Deborah’s eyes nearly popped out. “But how did you get away with it?”
Carol shrugged. “Dunno, but it wasn’t so hard. Too nerve-wracking, though, and I wouldn’t do it again.” She looked down and fingered her sleeve. Seeing that, we all drank.
Hannah put down her glass angrily. “You lot make me fucking sick.”
“What?” we chorused.
“You make me absolutely ill! Confessing all these horrendous things. You’re all just play-acting anyway. You wouldn’t know what something horrible is if you stared it in the face!”
Hannah’s own had changed from red to purple.
“It’s confession time, and I’ll tell each and every one of you something, oh yes I will. Adele, you’re a malicious cow who’d stab every one of us in the back if you could. And probably has. Remember David?”
Adele’s face paled.
“Oh, yes bet you thought I’d never find out. You sorry little bitch. And then you, Carol, always stealing my work, passing it off as your own, and then getting better marks!”
Hannah stood up. “Now, I don’t have much to say to you, Laura, but that you’d admit so happily to stealing money from someone who you set me up with? That you said time and again would be a good match for me? Why the fuck would I want to date someone like that, then?”
“I … I …” Laura stammered helplessly.
“And as for you, Andrea, you’re simply nothing. No drive, no personality. I mean, why are you here? Because of Deborah’s charity, that’s why. Because you’re just the poor fucking pseudo-relation who grew up on the wrong side of town and always got the scraps. Deborah’s not your friend, she just pities you. Like the rest of us.”
I couldn’t move. It hurt to hear what I’d long suspected was the truth, especially broadcast for the entire bar.
“And then there’s the would-be bride. Ha, that’s what you think. Well, I’ve got a surprise, because it’s time you knew the truth about Sam and what an utter wanker he is.”
All of us sat on the edge of our seats, looking between Hannah and Deborah.
“Do you know he’s tried to pull each and every woman sitting here? In some cases, he’s actually succeeded. In fact, thanks to your dear fiancé, I’m going to have to get a fucking procedure when I get home from this sorry excuse for a party.”
“You fucking bitch!” Deborah leaned across the table and would have punched Hannah if Laura hadn’t caught her arm in time. “I never want to see any of you again!” Hannah threw the remains of her drink on the table and stormed out of the bar.
Deborah sat down shakily, trying to get her bearings. “Can someone get me another fucking drink?”
The night somehow continued, though the party feeling was long gone. After a while, Adele turned to me and asked half-heartedly if I had anything to confess.
I thought of the last time I’d seen Sam, right before I was due to board the plane. I’d asked him to come over even though he was busy at work. He’d been nastier than ever, threatening to tell Deborah all sorts of lies about me that would irrevocably ruin our friendship, hurling all sorts of awful insults at me. I couldn’t help it. I grabbed the nearest thing I could to shut him up. It wasn’t till he’d fallen to the ground, blood gushing out of his head, his eyes fixed in a stricken expression, that