Dusk and Other Stories - James Salter [40]
Suddenly he heard the floor creak. Someone was there, a figure in the soft light drained of color. It was his wife, he was stunned by the image of her holding a cotton robe about her, her face made plain by sleep. He made a gesture as if to warn her off.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” she whispered.
He backed away making vague movements with his hands. His head was sideways, like a horse. He was moving backward. One eye was on her.
“What is it?” she said, alarmed. “What happened?”
No, he pleaded, shaking his head. A word had dropped away. No, no. It was fluttering apart like something in the sea. He was reaching blindly for it.
Her arm went around him. He pulled away abruptly. He closed his eyes.
“Darling, what is it?” He was troubled, she knew. He had never really gotten over his difficulty. He often woke at night, she would find him sitting in the kitchen, his face looking tired and old. “Come to bed,” she invited.
His eyes were closed tightly. His hands were over his ears.
“Are you all right?” she said.
Beneath her devotion it was dissolving, the words were spilling away. He began to turn around frantically.
“What is it, what is it?” she cried.
The light was coming everywhere, pouring across the lawn. The sacred whispers were vanishing. He could not spare a moment. Hands clapped to his head he ran into the hall searching for a pencil while she ran after, begging him to tell her what was wrong. They were fading, there was just one left, worthless without the others and yet of infinite value. As he scribbled the table shook. A picture quivered on the wall. His wife, her hair held back with one hand, was peering at what he had written. Her face was close to it.
“What is that?”
Dena, in her nightgown, had appeared in a doorway awakened by the noise.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Help me,” her mother cried.
“Daddy, what happened?”
Their hands were reaching for him. In the glass of the picture a brilliant square of blue and green was trembling, the luminous foliage of the trees. The countless voices were receding, turning into silence.
“What is it, what is it?” his wife pleaded.
“Daddy, please!”
He shook his head. He was nearly weeping as he tried to pull away. Suddenly he slumped to the floor and sat there and for Dena they had begun again the phase she remembered from the years she was first in school when unhappiness filled the house and slamming doors and her father clumsy with affection came into their room at night to tell them stories and fell asleep at the foot of her bed.
DUSK
Mrs. Chandler stood alone near the window in a tailored suit, almost in front of the neon sign that said in small, red letters PRIME MEATS. She seemed to be looking at onions, she had one in her hand. There was no one else in the store. Vera Pini sat by the cash register in her white smock, staring at the passing cars. Outside it was cloudy and the wind was blowing. Traffic was going by in an almost continuous flow. “We have some good Brie today,” Vera remarked without moving. “We just got it in.”
“Is it really good?”
“Very good.”
“All right, I’ll take some.” Mrs. Chandler