Early to Death, Early to Rise - Kim Harrison [58]
“The seraphs were right,” I pleaded. “Talking to Ace wouldn’t have made any difference. But Shoe can still save the people Ace was going to kill.”
Nakita lowered her sword an inch. Her cheeks were spotted with red, and I gripped the rolling table behind me with both hands.
“I don’t care about the people who are going to die,” she said, making Shoe pause in his typing. “Saving them is not my job! Their souls are beautiful and the seraphs will rejoice. It’s wounded souls that concern me. I care for the wounded, Madison, not the well.”
My mouth dropped open in a silent “oh” of understanding. She was a dark reaper. She killed people to save their souls. She thought what I was trying to do was foolish. And yet she stood there, shielding my soul from Ron’s detection as she tried to understand.
“Taking Ace’s soul before he sullied it beyond redemption was my task,” she said, and I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. “His soul depended upon me, and I failed him utterly because I trusted you. You made a deal with the light timekeeper’s acolyte. You let him give Ace a guardian angel so I wouldn’t be able to kill his body. Admit it!”
Shoe was staring. His fingers were still, and the silence soaked into me. “Keep working, Shoe,” I said, not looking away from Nakita. “I didn’t give him Ace,” I said to her, and she grew more agitated, a confused angel with a sword. “Paul gave Ace his guardian angel before I even knew he was there. You didn’t fail him. I did. I’m sorry, but I didn’t betray you! Not on purpose.”
Nakita fingered her amulet, confusion pinching her eyes. Because of me, black wings had eaten her memories. Not all of them, but enough so that she had felt the touch of death. The sound of her screams as she realized there was such a thing as an end had been awful. She alone among the angels knew what it was to fear death. She alone knew the bitterness of loss. And I still couldn’t get her to understand why I wanted to end the early scythings.
“I went to Shoe’s room. I talked to Ace,” she said. “He told me you made a deal with the rising light timekeeper. He laughed at me. You lied! Just like Kairos!”
“I didn’t lie,” I said quickly, reaching to touch her, only to drop my hand. “I forgot about Paul, and because of that, Ace got an angel. I am so, so sorry, Nakita. It was my mistake. I did make a deal with Paul, but it was for him to keep Ace from interfering while Shoe patched the virus. I was so mad at Paul, I could have scythed him myself. But my goal was never to keep Ace from getting an angel. I was trying to show him what his choices were going to bring about and hopefully get him to change so his life would have meaning. I can still do that. I know it goes against your nature, but I thought you understood. Or at least were trying to understand. I thought you were helping me.”
Her anger hesitated, and, looking confused, she lowered her gaze. “Ace won’t change,” she said. “You said it yourself. And now his soul is truly lost.”
Taking a step forward, I touched her shoulder, pulling back when her head came up. There were tears in her eyes, and she wiped them, looking shocked to be crying.
“It’s not over yet.” How am I going to change a millennia of beliefs if I can’t even convince one reaper who wants to understand but can’t? “I can fix this,” I said, and she stared at me as if wondering why I was bothering. “If we don’t do something, Shoe will take the blame for Ace’s choices. But if Ace has to face the fallout, he might change his own fate.”
Fate, I thought, tasting it in my mind as it dissolved on my tongue. I hated that word, but it had piqued Nakita’s interest. She knew fate.
“You think?” she asked, her shoulders easing as hope softened the lines of anger in her face.
“I hope,” I said, wanting to be perfectly clear.
Nakita frowned at Shoe, as if seeing him for the first time, his typing starting and stopping as he muttered to the computer. Change was hard for her, but she’d try