Elantris - Brandon Sanderson [139]
“He was a better prince than I am a princess, wasn’t he?” she asked, her voice falling.
“I wouldn’t say that, my lady,” Ashe said. “You are a very kindhearted woman, and you always treat your maids well. Do not compare yourself to Raoden—it is important to remember that you weren’t preparing to run a country, and your popularity with the people wasn’t an issue. Prince Raoden was the heir to the throne, and it was vital that he understand his subjects’ feelings.”
“They say he gave the people hope,” Sarene said musingly. “That the peasants endured Iadon’s outrageous burdens because they knew Raoden would eventually take the throne. The country would have collapsed years ago if the prince hadn’t gone amongst them, encouraging them and reviving their spirits.”
“And now he’s gone,” Ashe said quietly.
“Yes, he’s gone,” Sarene agreed, her voice detached. “We have to hurry, Ashe. I keep feeling that I’m not doing any good—that the country is heading for disaster no matter what I do. It’s like I’m at the bottom of a hill watching an enormous boulder crash down toward me, and I’m throwing pebbles up to try and deflect it.”
“Be strong, my lady,” Ashe said in his deep, stately voice. “Your God will not sit and watch as Arelon and Teod crumble beneath Wyrn’s heel.”
“I hope the prince is watching as well,” Sarene said. “Would he be proud of me, Ashe?”
“Very proud my lady.”
“I just want them to accept me,” she explained, realizing how silly she must sound. She had spent nearly three decades loving a country without ever feeling it loved her back. Teod had respected her, but she was tired of respect. She wanted something different from Arelon.
“They will, Sarene,” Ashe promised. “Give them time. They will.”
“Thank you Ashe,” Sarene said with a quiet sigh. “Thank you for enduring the lamentations of a silly girl.”
“We can be strong in the face of kings and priests, my lady,” Ashe replied, “but to live is to have worries and uncertainties. Keep them inside, and they will destroy you for certain—leaving behind a person so callused that emotion can find no root in his heart.”
With that the Seon passed out the window, in search of the maid Meala.
_______
By the time Meala arrived, Sarene had composed herself. There had been no tears, just time spent in thought. Sometimes it was too much for her, and her insecurity simply had to boil out. Ashe and her father had always been there to support her during those times.
“Oh dear,” Meala said, regarding the state of the room. She was thin and rather young—definitely not what Sarene expected when she had first moved into the palace. Meala more resembled one of her father’s accountants than she did a head maid.
“I’m sorry, my lady,” Meala apologized, offering Sarene a wan smile. “I didn’t even think of this. We lost another girl this afternoon, and it didn’t occur to me that your room was on her list of duties.”
“‘Lost,’ Meala?” Sarene asked with concern.
“A runaway, my lady,” Meala explained. “They aren’t supposed to leave—we’re indentured like the rest of the peasants. For some reason we have trouble keeping maids in the palace, however. Domi knows why it is—no servant in the country is treated better than those here.”
“How many have you lost?” Sarene asked with curiosity.
“She was the fourth this year,” Meala said. “I’ll send someone up immediately.”
“No, don’t bother tonight. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“Of course, my lady,” Meala said with a curtsy.
“Thank you.”
“There it is again!” Sarene said with excitement, jumping out of her bed.
Ashe instantly burst back to full illumination, hovering uncertainly by the wall. “My lady?”
“Quiet,” Sarene ordered, pressing her ear against the stone wall beneath her window, listening to the scraping sound. “What do you think?”
“I am thinking that whatever my lady had for supper, it isn’t agreeing with her,” Ashe informed curtly.
“There was definitely a noise there,” Sarene said, ignoring the gibe. Though Ashe was always awake in the mornings