Empress Orchid - Anchee Min [138]
An-te-hai stumbled over the doorsill. He reported that it had been decided that I would be “honored to accompany Hsien Feng when he returns to his source,” which meant that I would be buried alive when the Emperor died.
I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t. Out of three thousand concubines I was the only one who gave him a son. Hsien Feng knew that Tung Chih needed me.
Making an effort to stay calm, I asked An-te-hai where he had picked up this information. He said that it came from his friend Chow Tee, the Emperor’s attendant.
“Chow Tee came to me this morning,” An-te-hai said in a trembling voice. “He told me to run away immediately. I asked what had happened. He said, ‘Your days are numbered.’ I said, ‘Quit joking, it’s not funny.’ He said he was serious. He had overheard Su Shun’s conversation with His Majesty, and Su Shun suggested that His Majesty ‘take Lady Yehonala’ with him.”
An-te-hai paused for breath, and he wiped the sweat from his face with his sleeve.
“Are you sure Chow Tee heard him right?” I asked, shaken.
“Chow Tee heard Su Shun say, ‘Lady Yehonala is not the kind who would remain faithful and quietly tend her garden.’”
“Did His Majesty respond?”
“No. And that was why Su Shun pressed. He said that he wouldn’t be surprised if you took up with other men after his death. He also predicted that you would seek power through Tung Chih. Su Shun said that you had whipped Tung Chih because he refused to do what you wanted. In the end His Majesty agreed to take you.”
I envisioned my eternal dress and coffin being ordered by Su Shun. I could picture myself with the silk around my neck and Su Shun kicking away the stool. Before my body turned cold, he would pour a bowl of liquid silver down my throat, to mold me into the posture he desired.
“My lady, do something before it’s too late!” An-te-hai threw himself on the floor and wouldn’t rise.
I never dreamt that I would end up being sacrificed. Big Sister Fann’s stories were flat compared to what was happening to me. There was no time to shed tears or seek comfort from my family. Su Shun might already be preparing the fire to melt the silver bars into a drink.
I asked An-te-hai why I should trust Chow Tee’s words.
“We eunuchs are vines,” he said. “We have to locate a big tree in order to climb high. Chow Tee and I understand that only when we help each other will we survive and advance. We have been sworn brothers since we were twelve years old. If there was a fly in Emperor Hsien Feng’s room, Chow Tee would let me know. Lately Chow Tee has been worried about his future after the Emperor dies. If lucky enough to be spared from going with His Majesty, he needs to find a new master to serve. He knew this information was valuable and wanted to offer it to you. It was my suggestion, of course.”
I told An-te-hai that I had to speak with Chow Tee.
The next day, at An-te-hai’s arrangement, Chow Tee came to me under the pretense of borrowing a lamp.
He was about twenty years old and looked plain and humble. His cotton robe was washed white. I had never seen a young face with so many wrinkles. His background was similar to An-te-hai’s, and he had been living in the Forbidden City since the age of nine. He was very careful with his words. He confirmed what An-te-hai had told me.
After I sent Chow Tee away I received my son. Tung Chih climbed on my lap and said that he was ready to recite his text. He was very good this time. I praised him as much as I could, but I had to make an effort to block my tears. I couldn’t get rid of the image that my coffin