Empress Orchid - Anchee Min [43]
The beautiful wide-open eyes look dead, although her posture is erect and her costume magnificent—lines from old operas repeated themselves inside my head.
An-te-hai appeared from the bushes holding a cup of tea on a tray.
“Is my lady having a good day?” An-te-hai placed the tea in front of me.
I sighed and told him that I didn’t feel like having tea.
An-te-hai smiled. He leaned over and pushed the turtles gently back into the water. “You are too anxious, my lady. Don’t be.”
“Life is too long in the Forbidden City, An-te-hai,” I said. “Even the seconds are hard to pass.”
“The day will come,” An-te-hai said. His expression showed a sincere belief. “His Majesty will summon you, my lady.”
“Will he?”
“You must believe that he will.”
“Why would he?”
“Why wouldn’t he?” An-te-hai rose from his knees.
“Speak no more of false hope, An-te-hai!”
“You can’t afford to lose your confidence, my lady. What else do you own besides hope? His Majesty has placed you on the west side of his palace. I believe that is the sign of a strong interest. All the fortune-tellers I have consulted predict that he will summon you.”
My mood lightened and I picked up the tea.
“May I ask”—the eunuch smiled as if he felt better himself—“if my lady is prepared if the summons comes tonight? In other words, is my lady familiar with the mating ritual?”
Embarrassed, I replied, “Of course I am.”
“If you desire an explanation, I am here to help.”
“You?” I couldn’t help laughing. “Watch your behavior, An-te-hai.”
“Only you know whether or not I was behaving, my lady.”
I went quiet.
“I will be glad to drink the poison you hand me,” An-te-hai said softly.
“Perform your duty and waste no words.” I smiled.
“Wait for me, my lady. I’ll show you something.” Quickly An-te-hai collected the tea set and left. Moments later he returned with a paper box in his hand. Inside was a pair of silkworm moths.
“I got this from the garden of the Palace of Benevolent Tranquility,” An-te-hai said. “It is where the elder concubines live—twenty-eight of them, left by Emperor Hsien Feng’s father and grandfather. These are their pets.”
“What do they do with moths?” I asked. “I thought they spent their days doing embroidery.”
“Well, the ladies watch and play with the moths,” An-te-hai said. “It is the same as the emperors and princes indulging themselves with crickets. The only difference is that there is no competition between silkworm moths.”
“What’s the fun in watching moths?”
“You have no idea, my lady.” As if revealing a mystery, An-te-hai be-came excited. “The ladies love to watch the moths couple, and then they tear them apart in the middle of their mating ritual. Would you like me to show you?”
Imagining what An-te-hai would do, I raised my hands in the air. “No! Take the box back. I am not interested!”
“All right, my lady, I won’t show you today. But someday you will want to see this. You will then understand the fun of it, just like the other ladies.”
“What happens when you tear the moths apart?” I asked.
“They bleed to death.”
“And that is the ‘fun’ you were talking about?”
“Precisely.” An-te-hai smiled, misreading, for the first time, my thoughts.
“Whoever does this must have a sick mind,” I said, turning my head toward the distant mountains.
“Well, to those in despair it helps healing,” the eunuch said quietly.
I turned and stared into the open box.
Two moths were becoming one. Half of the male’s body was inside the female’s.
“Would you like me to remove the box, my lady?”
“Be gone, An-te-hai, and leave the moths to me.”
“Yes, my lady. The moths are easy to feed. In case you need to have more than one pair, the silkworm seller comes to the palace the fourth day of every month.”
The pair rested peacefully on a mat of straw. Next to them were two broken cocoons. The two little white bodies had wings covered with thick ash-colored powder. Once in a while their wings trembled. Were they having fun?
The sun shifted. The flat rock was now in shade. The garden was warm