Enigma Ship - J. Steven York [12]
“That’s dangerous, you know.” The voice belonged to Corsi. He heard her sharp footsteps as she walked up behind him. Even in the cluttered shuttlebay, there was a military precision to her step.
“The universe, or just where I’m watching it from?”
“Both. If you weren’t the captain, I’d be busting your chops about safety protocols.”
“Then it’s good to be the captain.”
“Would the captain be prepared to accept a lecture on safety protocols?”
“No.”
“A reminder?”
“Noted and ignored.”
They stood silently for a while, Gold looking at the stars, Corsi contemplating the force-field control panel.
Gold sighed. “You’re taking all the fun out of this, you realize?”
“It’s my job.”
“Well, you’re good at taking the fun out of things. You clearly aren’t here for the view.”
“I had the computer track you down. I wanted to discuss ship’s discipline.”
“Somebody else’s chops you want to bust?”
“Not that kind, Captain. Maybe discipline isn’t the word. Mood, maybe even morale, though that isn’t my area of expertise.”
“Obviously.” When Corsi ignored the sarcasm in his tone, Gold said over his shoulder, “Go ahead.”
“People are acting strangely, even for engineers. They’re acting almost—” She hesitated, as though searching for the proper word. “—almost giddy. I’m even seeing it in my security people. I don’t understand it. This is a very serious mission.”
Gold nodded. “Close shuttlebay doors.”
He turned away from the closing doors and faced Corsi. “It’s understandable, Corsi. You’ve never been on this kind of mission before, have you?”
“What kind of mission would that be, sir?”
“We’re investigating the disappearance of a Federation starship with all hands. Despite Captain Scott’s boundless optimism, we all know, on some level, there’s a chance we won’t be finding survivors.”
“We’ve investigated ship disasters before, much worse than this.” Her tone was puzzled, and a frown creased her smooth brow. “The Beast, Friend, the Senuta ship, those Breen and Jem’Hadar ships during the…”
“Those were alien ships. This is a Federation starship, full of Starfleet personnel, people like us.”
“So was the Defiant,” Corsi said almost defensively.
“Yes, but we knew the Defiant crew was already dead before we even started that mission. I’m not saying that these people value the lives of aliens or non-Starfleet crews any less. But we all come out here, knowing there are dangers, knowing that the universe could reach right out and smite one or all of us. Knowing we may find a ship with all hands lost, is a stark reminder of our own fragility, our own mortality.”
“You’re saying they’re scared?”
“Not at all, not in any pejorative sense, anyway.” Gold clasped his hands behind his back, and paced across the small open space behind the closed doors, his head down and his voice low.
“I’ve been in the fleet a long time, Corsi. I’ve lost too many crewmates and friends, seen wars and disasters, and generally spent too damn much time in the close proximity of death. That’s not unusual in these days. Not after the Dominion War and the Borg. It’s an unhappy accident of history that most everyone on board this ship, directly or indirectly, has had a taste of what we could be facing.”
He stopped his pacing and glanced at Corsi, then looked back at his feet. “What I’m saying is that sometimes the only way to look the reaper in the eye, feel his cold breath on your cheek, and not to run screaming, is to laugh in his face. Trust me, this is only what anticipation of a possible disaster has done to them. If we find ourselves trying to sort body parts out of wreckage, you’ll hear gallows humor that will curl your toes.”
“You don’t have a problem with that?”
He looked up then, and chuckled sadly. “You’ll probably find me in the thick of it, Corsi. It’s human nature. It’s healthy. It’s not your way of coping apparently, but for your sake, I hope you have some way of releasing the tension. You must be feeling it too, and I need my chief of security