Eona - Alison Goodman [76]
“It is his duty to protect me. To protect the throne. He had to make sure I was not compromised.” The somber appeal in his eyes held me still. “This was not just between you and me, Eona. Everything I do has an effect on the empire. It has been so all my life. And now everything you do affects it, too.” He hesitated, then cupped my cheek, the full tenderness of his mouth so near my own. “I know you are new to your power and rank, but you must understand that the empire is more important than a man and a woman. Whatever we may feel or wish.”
I pulled my face away, gathering my resentment before me like a shield. “That does not excuse cruelty and dishonor,” I said.
He flinched, and something savage within me rejoiced.
“You think that was cruel?” He released my wrist and stepped back. “This war with my uncle has just begun, Eona. What I just did was honorable compared to what is coming.”
“Is that the moral gauge you are going to use for all your actions?” I asked. “It will no doubt bend to your every purpose as easily as green bamboo.”
He gave a bitter laugh. “Is that my Naiso speaking? Or is it just a woman’s pique sharpening your tongue?”
“It is obvious that you do not trust me. Perhaps I should not be your Naiso.” My voice cracked. We both knew I was not only speaking of that exalted position.
“Perhaps you are right,” he said.
It was my turn to flinch. He walked slowly back to the desk. I watched the unyielding line of his shoulders and back. I had been a fool to let myself believe he valued me.
“On your honor, promise that you will never heal me,” he finally said.
“I will do better than my honor, since you hold it in so little regard,” I answered, unable to keep back the acid of my hurt. “I swear it on my life.”
His hand found the Imperial Pearl at his throat.
“Eona, I have been trained from birth not to truly trust anyone.” The words were so soft they were barely audible across the distance between us. Perhaps they held the note of apology, but I was not willing to hear it.
“I do not trust easily, either,” I said. “Especially when I am betrayed.”
I saw the word bite deep. For a long moment, he did not move.
“It is a good thing, then, that obedience does not require trust,” he finally said. He leaned over the map, his clenched fist pressed against the parchment. “Tell Viktor and his men to return.”
I bowed and backed away, holding tight to my anger to stop the tears that stung my eyes.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I STOOD FOR a few moments just inside the entrance of the cave, the soft sleeve of my dress pressed against my wet face, and listened for any sign of pursuit. There was none, of course—an emperor would never follow anyone, let alone a woman. All I could hear was the conversation of the men outside, waiting to be summoned again. I did not want to step out among them, but there was no choice. I straightened my tunic, wiped the blur from my eyes with my forefinger, then strode out into the new daylight.
“His Majesty commands your return,” I said, moving swiftly past their bowing forms. There was nowhere for me to go, but I did not pause, taking the steps with the pretense of purpose.
“My lady, please wait.”
I glanced back. Vida stood on the top step.
“What is it?” I continued walking.
She ran up, her overlong gown bunched in her hands. I saw her note my swollen eyes. “Captain Yuso said you needed assistance.”
That stopped me. “Did he, now?” I looked back at the cave entrance, but all the men had gone inside. “Did he tell you why I needed assistance?”
“No, my lady.”
“Because he is a whoreson,” I said, finding some release in the forceful obscenity. Nearby, a woman walking with a child holding each hand stiffened. “He is a whoreson, and his master is a—”
“Madina has prepared a sleeping chamber for you,” Vida said quickly. “Up in one of the caves. Perhaps you would like to retire?”
I rubbed my eyes again, feeling the grit of salt on my cheeks. Exhaustion already dragged at my body; the fuel of fury did not last long. I suddenly yearned for solitude. For years I