Equinox - Diane Carey [47]
"Not like that," he confirmed.
"Maybe you could talk to her," Gilmore suggested nervously. "Help her understand us. If you were on the Skeleton Coast and the natives wouldn't trade with you, would you kill them to get your supplies? Well? Would your
Chakotay thumped his hands on his thighs by way of a shrug. "I really can't say. I've actually been there, but only after they put the resort there. As I understand, it was a savage place. They had to virtually ter-raform it."
He was trying to change the subject, but she didn't go for it With more force than he gave her credit for, Gilmore challenged, "Would you hold on to your nobility and just die? Or would you fight?"
"I might fight," he said. "But I'd be wrong."
"Then up the ante. What if your crew was with
you. Sit and watch them die because the natives won't trade? Or would you go and steal and kill to live?"
"The theory goes," Chakotay said, "that Starfleet officers swear an oath that they'll die first."
"What if you had your children with you? How tight does the noose get before you do cross the line and you think you're right to cross it? After a while, the question becomes 'Will I kill somebody else's child so mine can live?' That's wrong too, but you start to think it. You convince yourself it's fair because the other guy is keeping water from you and he knows you need it."
"We have to be bigger than our needs," Chakotay attempted halfheartedly.
"You might let yourself die," Gilmore responded, "but would you be so noble if that little girl Naomi were the one dying? How far would you go to save her? To gain one more day? Or a thousand more light-years?" She laughed without a bit of mirth. "We talk about rules and regulations and commandments as if we're androids programmed for yes or no. These aren't yes-or-no problems. I never thought it'd come to this... to be honest with you, I thought we'd die before we had to be accountable."
Chakotay offered a sympathetic glance. "You're very loyal to him. He must deserve it in your eyes."
"He saved all the rest of us," she said. "It's only in the past few weeks that our shipmates started dying again. He kept all of us alive all those months. When we were starving, somehow he found food. When we
were out of power, somehow he traded or bought power. When we needed medical supplies, he beamed down to a swamp planet by himself and collected botanical substitutes. He was sick for months after that. But he smiled all the time because he knew he'd done it for us. Loyal? You bet I am, Mr. Chakotay. I didn't like what we were doing, but I'd do it again for him."
The weight of these problems, the intensity of them, made Chakotay feel physically heavier. This wasn't going to get better any time soon. If the aliens broke through, the same firefight that ravaged Equinox would be here in these bright corridors, scorching them into dark and fearful tunnels.
"He might still be right, you know," Gilmore pointed out. "They could still turn out to be just animals."
"They attacked in an organized manner," he countered. "They changed tactics. Then they changed them again."
"So do the Borg. But didn't you kill them when you had to?"
"If you all feel this way," Chakotay asked, "why didn't Captain Ransom make this argument to Captain Janeway?"
"Why should he? He's a captain in his own right. He doesn't have to answer to a peer. She's not really his superior. Besides, we've already been through all this for ourselves. Rudy shouldn't have to justify himself again."
She stopped walking and put her hand out suddenly, catching him by the arm. Behind them, the security
guard came to a defensive stance and lowered his rifle to her.
"Stand easy, crewman," Chakotay ordered, meeting the guard's confused gaze.
"Aye, sir," the guard said, and relaxed.
Gilmore seemed bothered by the rifle, but she focused on Chakotay.
"Will you talk to Captain Janeway?"