Escape From Evil - Cathy Wilson [33]
All the while I was working – on my knees, cutting and pushing and trying to inch the stuff into place – I could smell the sweetness of the joints and hear the sound of the bubbling water in the bong, as well as the rowdiness of half a dozen or more men. Some of them were familiar faces, others were new to me. Everyone was laughing. Everyone, that is, except Mum.
I kept straining to hear, trying to make out her voice, but the noise was too great. What if they’d hurt her? What if they’d given her one of those pills?
Every fibre of my body wanted to rush out and check, but I didn’t dare. Mark was being nice today, but I’d seen his true colours. If I went out to check on Mum, who knew what he would do to her? It was clear now: he was that sort of man.
It seemed to take forever, but eventually I got the lino down. Absolutely shattered, I stood back and admired my work. As much as I’d hated doing it and I’d hated Mark for making me, I felt really proud of myself. I didn’t know why he’d bothered enough to get it done, but there was a part of me that couldn’t wait to show him my handiwork.
I stepped cautiously into the lounge. One of the men noticed me.
‘Here she is.’
Mark span round. ‘I hope this means you’ve finished,’ he said coldly.
I realized I’d been stupid to hope to impress him.
‘Yes, finished.’
His face broke into a large smile. ‘I’ve got to see this.’ He marched into the kitchen and let out a little whistle. ‘Not bad, not bad at all.’
That feeling of pride rose again in my chest. It swelled even larger when Mark said, ‘I’ve got a reward for you.’
A reward? Wonder what it is?
His hand reached into a pocket and I couldn’t wait to see what he pulled out. When I did, my heart sank.
‘Swallow this and make yourself scarce, there’s a good girl.’
I took the pill and, with just a hopeful glance at Mum, made my way to bed. She went to get up, but a strong hand pushed her back down. I closed the bedroom door, forced down the tablet, then buried my head under the pillow. Whatever the men wanted me out of the way for, I didn’t want to hear.
I didn’t know what business our kitchen floor was of this unpleasant man and nor did I care. The end result was impressive, even if I say so myself. It gave the kitchen a clean feeling. It would be a lot easier for me to keep tidy.
The only thing I cared about was the party everyone had when I wasn’t there. I wasn’t envious. I knew adults did things that children weren’t invited to. But what was it?
My seven-year-old mind couldn’t really work it out. Looking back, I obviously did things and saw things that no child should ever do or see, but it was normal for me. Even the Stanley knife was within the bounds of what I was expected to do. It was no different to wiring a plug or cooking a roast. I wasn’t aware anything was out of the ordinary. Apart from the sleeping pill.
What were they doing? They could have been going out to a party, but why did I need to be forced to sleep? Mum was often disappearing for a night or two. She didn’t have a problem leaving me. Why didn’t she just tell Mark and his friends that I was old enough to look after myself?
So I decided the party had to be taking place at the flat. For them to want me out of the way made me think that I would have heard things they didn’t want me to. Otherwise they would just have told me to stay in my room. Looking back, I have to imagine drugs featured heavily, but at the time I wasn’t aware of what drugs were – the joints to me were just cigarettes. Marijuana was such a regular feature of home life that if it hadn’t been for the episode with the police and the panda, I would never have suspected there was anything illicit about it at all. It was as commonplace at the Wilson home as tea or eggs. More commonplace, actually.
The one thing I do know is that Mum always fought it. She was always resistant to the pills. Sometimes she stood right in Mark’s or Brian’s or whoever