Espresso Tales - Alexander Hanchett Smith [100]
“What’s that you’ve got?” she whispered.
“What?” asked Bertie, guiltily moving his hand away.
“That thing in there?” insisted Olive. “It’s something important, isn’t it?”
“No,” said Bertie quickly. “It’s nothing.”
“Yes it is,” said Olive. “You should tell me, you know. You shouldn’t keep secrets from your girlfriend.”
Bertie turned to look at her in horror. “Girlfriend? Who says you’re my girlfriend?”
“I do, for one,” said Olive, with the air of explaining something obvious to one who has been slow to realise it. “And ask any of the other girls. Ask Pansy. Ask Skye. They’ll tell you. All the girls know it. I’ve told them.”
Bertie opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.
“So,” said Olive. “Tell me. What’s that in your pocket?”
“I’m not your boyfriend,” Bertie muttered. “I like you, but I never asked you to be my girlfriend.”
“It’s an invitation, isn’t it?” Olive whispered. “It’s an invitation to Tofu’s party. I bet that’s what it is.”
Bertie decided that he might as well admit it. It was no business of Olive’s that he was going to Tofu’s party. In fact, it was no business of hers how he spent his time. Why did girls – and mothers – think that they could order boys around all the time?
“So what if it’s an invitation?” Bertie said. “Tofu told me not to talk about it.”
“Ha!” crowed Olive. “I knew that’s what it was. He invited Bertie Receives an Invitation
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me to his sixth birthday party last year. I refused. So did all the other girls he invited. He tried to get us to pay ten pounds to come. Did you know that? He tried to sell tickets to his own party.”
Bertie said nothing, and Olive continued. “I heard that the party was pretty awful anyway,” she said. “Vegan parties are always very dull. You get sweetened bean sprouts and water. That’s all. Certainly not worth ten pounds.”
Bertie felt that he had to defend his friend in the face of this onslaught. “We’re going bowling,” he said. “Merlin and Hiawatha are coming too.”
“Merlin and Hiawatha!” exclaimed Olive. “What wimps! I’m glad I’m not going to that party. I suppose Merlin will wear that stupid rainbow-coloured coat of his and Hiawatha will wear those horrid jungle boots he keeps going on about. They’ll make him take those boots off, you know. They won’t allow boots like that in the bowling alley. And then people will smell his socks, which always stink the place out. Pansy says that she was ill –
actually threw up – the first time Hiawatha removed his boots for gym. Boy, is it going to be a stinky party that one!”
It was clear to Bertie that Olive was jealous. It was a pity that Tofu had not invited her, as if he had then she would have been less keen to run the party down. But Bertie was not going to let her destroy his pleasure in the invitation and so he deliberately turned his back on her and concentrated on the story that was being read out.
“You’re in denial,” Olive whispered to him. “You know what happens to people in denial?”
Bertie turned round. “What?” he said. “What happens to people in denial?”
Olive looked at him in a superior way. She had clearly worried him and she was enjoying the power that this gave her. “They get lockjaw,” she said. “It’s well-known. They get lockjaw and they can’t open their mouth. The doctors have to knock their teeth out with a hammer to pour some soup in. That’s what happens.”
Bertie looked at Olive contemptuously. “You’re the one who 210 Bertie’s Invitation Is Considered
should get lockjaw,” he whispered. “That would stop you saying all these horrid things.”
Olive stared at him. Her nostrils were flared and her eyes were wide with fury. Then she started to cry.
Miss Harmony looked up from the story. “What is the trouble, Olive?” she said. “What’s wrong, dear?”
“It’s this boy,” Olive sobbed, pointing at Bertie. “He says that he hopes that I get lockjaw.”
“Bertie?” said Miss Harmony. “Did you say that you hope that Olive got lockjaw?”
Bertie looked down at the floor. It was all so unfair. He had not started the conversation about lockjaw