Eternally Yours - Brenda Jackson [53]
There was no way she could deny there would be some real benefits in becoming his lover. She would have the space she liked, the stability she wanted and the privacy she craved. But most importantly, she would have relief from the intense combination of passion and desire Clayton had stirred up within her. She had become trapped in the depths of her own sensuality. It was a state that only Clayton could rectify. At least with him, she didn’t have to worry about being fed a line. There would be no “I love you” and no promises of “forever after.” With him she could enjoy the present without the pain of the past or the worry of a loveless future.
“It’s all about mutual satisfication,” she said softly to herself. “Mutual satisfication and nothing more.”
Syneda nodded, her decision made. She would agree to become Clayton’s lover only if he was willing to accept her conditions.
Nearly an hour had passed before Syneda heard the key rattle in the lock. Tossing aside her legal pad, she stood. She didn’t care that the expression on her face clearly showed she’d been worried. When Clayton hadn’t returned in what she had considered a reasonable amount of time, she had begun pacing the floor, peeking through drapes and gnawing nervously at her bottom lip.
The nerve of him to make her worry!
“Where have you been?” she demanded the moment he walked in.
Clayton gave her an inquiring glance before calmly saying, “Out.”
Syneda felt a surge of renewed anger. Here she had been driving herself crazy wondering if he had gotten mugged or run over by a speeding cab. And all he had to say regarding his whereabouts was “out.”
“I know you’ve been out, Clayton. But you’ve been gone for over an hour. Did it ever occur to you that I was worried?”
Clayton shook his head. “No. That thought never occurred to me.”
Infuriated, Syneda walked up to him. Heaven help her, but she wanted to grab him and shake him one time. “Well, I was.”
A hint of a smile played around Clayton’s mouth. His hand slipped to her waist and pulled her closer. “I’m sorry that I made you worry about me. I stopped by that arcade shop around the corner and played a couple of games.”
Syneda frowned at him. “Look, Madaris. If we’re going to be lovers, we need to have an understanding about a few things. I don’t believe in disappearing acts.”
Clayton’s heart almost stopped beating with Syneda’s words. He cupped her face in his hands, smiling brightly. “Are we going to be lovers?”
With a gentle smile she said, “Yes.”
Clayton pulled her closer to him. “Does this mean you’ve decided to accept my proposal?”
“Yes, Counselor. You presented a pretty good argument, but I do have two conditions.”
Clayton studied her eyes, noting the determined set in them. He knew that whatever her conditions were, there would be no negotiations. “What are they?”
“First, I want you to agree that at any time if either of us wants to end this relationship we can do so without any questions asked. Other than dating each other exclusively, we are not bound to each other.”
Clayton didn’t like that condition at all. More than ever he was determined to make sure she never wanted to end the relationship. “All right,” he finally said.
“The next one involves your family.”
Clayton raised a brow. “My family? What about my family?”
Syneda stepped out of the circle of his arms. “I don’t want them knowing about us, Clayton. I don’t want them to know we’re involved.”
He frowned. “Why?”
“I don’t want to become one of those women they constantly tease you about—the kind they think you only date. I don’t want to lose their love and respect.”
“Syneda, that would never happen.”
“I can’t take that chance. I won’t take it.”
Clayton pulled her back into his arms. Although he didn’t like what she was asking of him, he understood why she was doing it. Because of her deep-rooted doubts and fears, she needed an attachment to people she could count on and trust. His family had become that to her. They were her surrogate family, and she would never take the chance to be rejected and abandoned again.