Eve - Iris Johansen [41]
“Then you’ll set a new trend.”
Sandra’s smile faded. “You’re going to keep her.”
She shook her head. “I know I shouldn’t do it. She deserves more.”
Sandra nodded. “It wouldn’t be smart.”
“Here she is.” Nurse Toran was coming through the door carrying a pink-wrapped bundle. “She’s magic. She doesn’t look like a newborn at all. And I know newborns aren’t supposed to see well or smile, but I swear she smiled at me. She seems to be glad to be here.” She put the baby in the curve of Eve’s arm. “Though that may change. She’s going to be hungry soon.” She folded the soft pink blanket away from the baby. “Say hello to your mama, cutie.”
So tiny, Eve thought. So delicate.
And then she looked down at the baby’s face.
And her little girl smiled at her.
“Oh, my God,” she whispered.
And it was not a curse.
A cap of wispy red-brown hair framed that tiny face. Dark eyes stared up at Eve, curious, alert, full of joy. Reaching out for everything that life held.
“What did I tell you?” the nurse said softly. “Magic.”
“Yes.” Eve’s arm tightened on the baby. “I never dreamed … May I keep her with me?”
“For a little while. Then you’ll have to sleep.” Nurse Toran headed for the door. “But both of you seem pretty happy right now.”
Happy? That wasn’t the word. Eve felt as if her entire being was opening, beginning to shine, with a kind of luminous radiance. A radiance that was coming from the child she was holding.
“She’s beautiful, Eve,” Sandra said.
“Yes.” Eve couldn’t look away from her little girl. “I know every mother thinks her child is special, but she is special, isn’t she? Even the nurse could see it.”
“So pretty.” Sandra took a step nearer. “And look at the way she’s looking at me.” She put a gentle finger on the baby’s hand. “She likes me, Eve.”
“I think she loves the whole world.” Eve touched the satin of the baby’s cheek. “It makes you want to make sure that she keeps on loving it, that nothing ever hurts her.” Her lips brushed the baby’s head. “Don’t you worry. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”
“Eve.”
“I know. But she’s magic, Sandra. And she knows no one could ever love her like I do.” She said softly, “Don’t you, baby? It’s sort of like a golden river flowing back and forth between us that will never end.”
“You’re going to keep her.”
“I want to keep her. I feel as if my heart will break if I lose her. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to give her up.” She could feel the tears sting her eyes as she pressed her cheek against that silky head. “But I’ll think about it. I’ll give myself a little time.”
Sandra shook her head. “Well, while you’re thinking, you’d better give her a name. You can’t keep calling her baby.”
A name.
“I never thought of names.” For the same reason she hadn’t wanted to know the sex of the baby. She looked down at the little girl. “What about it?” she asked her. “I don’t want to just pull a name out of a hat. We should decide it between us. I want to share everything with you.”
“She’s a newborn.” Sandra chuckled. “She can’t decide anything yet.”
“But she’s magic.” Her little girl was looking up at her, and Eve was getting lost in that gaze that seemed to be reaching out, asking, holding. “Give her a chance. Look at her. Isn’t she beautiful? And she has a beautiful soul. I know it.”
“A name,” Sandra prompted.
Beautiful child. Beautiful soul. Eve thought for a moment, then said softly, “Her name is Bonnie.”
* * *
“YOU’RE BREAST-FEEDING HER,” Sandra noticed when she walked into Eve’s hospital room the next morning. “I suppose that means the decision is made?”
Eve nodded and tucked the blanket around Bonnie, who had drifted off to sleep. “I thought a long time about it. I didn’t sleep last night. I was afraid that I was just being selfish. She deserves better than that from me.”
“But you’re still keeping her.”
“Yes.” Eve gazed down at the baby, who had made a tiny sound. Are you dreaming, sweetheart? I hope they’re wonderful dreams. “Because I realized something.” Her glance shifted to Sandra. “All my life, I thought